Christine's High School Graduation picture
mental health, mental health, self help

What It’s Like Being Raised by a Narcissistic Mother: Part Two

Why Discovering my Inner Worthiness was Crucial to my Healing


What is a Narcissist?

A narcissist is someone who has a grandiose sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. Oftentimes they can be controlling, manipulative and demanding. They also lack conscience and guilt which makes it very easy for them to hurt others without feeling remorseful or guilty about what they have done or said to harm another person.

Now imagine this person is your Mother.

A picture of Christine with her father
(7TH GRADE) My Father picking me up from my Mom’s after she kicked me out of the house.

The Effects of a Narcissistic Mother

The effects of being raised by a narcissistic mother are profound.

Growing up with a narcissistic mother made it very difficult for me to trust anyone, especially men, I never knew if they would hurt me or not. I was constantly looking at every aspect of their behavior trying to determine if they were good or bad people so that way I could protect myself from further harm but this became exhausting after a while because there was no way I could.

Not to mention the constant need for external validation. 

A young Christine
A young me at the beginning of a life full of manipulation and gaslighting.

Abnormal Parenting

It wasn’t until years later that I realized this kind of parenting wasn’t normal; it wasn’t how other moms treated their kids.  It didn’t seem strange at the time because I had no point of reference; my mother was just “the way she was.”

But when you grow up with a narcissistic parent, it can be extremely confusing and painful — especially when you don’t even know that your parent has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).  

It took me years to realize that there was something wrong with this situation; it wasn’t just me making things up in my head or overreacting to things that weren’t really happening at all…it was My Narcissistic Mother. 

She is the person who will remind you of your mistakes and shortcomings every chance she gets. She will create stories that portray you as a terrible person, a burden on society, and a waste of space. She will make sure everyone knows you are a disappointment, especially if they have something she wants or needs from them.

Meet Your Narcissistic Mother

She has no empathy for others; in fact, she feels superior to most people in her life. She cannot feel remorse over anything she has done wrong or hurtful things she has said. She expects everyone to meet her high expectations without question, but never does anything herself because it is beneath her.

Your Narcissistic Mother does not like anything about you; everything that makes up who you are is wrong in her eyes.

Being raised by a narcissistic mother is a form of emotional abuse that can have a devastating effect on the child’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Narcissistic mothers are often very good at creating an illusion of being wonderful parents. They are often charming, charismatic and superficially seem to be loving and attentive. The reality is that they lack empathy for their children and only care about their own needs, feelings and desires. HELLO GUILT TRIPS!

Stay Tuned for Part Three of What It’s Like Being Raised by a Narcissistic Mother. *HINT: EXHAUSTING

I’ll provide examples galore of her subtle manipulation.

My hope is for others to heal by sharing my story. You deserve peace. You are worthy.



mental health, Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus, self help

Why I started this Podcast…

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast is My Love Letter to Humanity, and Much More.


Thank You Everyone for Listening

2022 black history month blackmentalhealth boundaries bullies burnout Childhood chronic pain chronicpain conversation coronavirus covid daughter embrace family Father healing healthcare human design journey longcovid manipulation Mental Health mindbodyconnection mother motherhood mother] narcissist nurse nursepractitioner nursing parenting Podcast polyvagaltheory psychology purpose racism relationships selfcare selfhelp selflove Spirituality trauma Universe worthiness

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mental health, mental health, nursing, podcast, podcast, self help

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast- episode 33: the boundary

Picture of the word "boundary" spelled out
Listen to episode 33 about boundaries. Boundaries = Self-Love

Summary

Were you taught it’s ok to say “No” in childhood? Were you taught it’s ok to speak up for your needs? Neither was I. 

Teaching myself how to set boundaries is a work in progress. My narcissistic mother crossing my boundary for the last time was my key to emotional freedom and authentic worthiness. 

In this solo episode, I cover all things boundaries. 

Rule of Thumb: Those who react the loudest when a boundary is set is evidence the boundary was needed in the first place (read this again).

Topics Covered: 

  • What is a boundary?
  • Why boundaries are important to your well-being
  • 4 types of boundaries 
  • Signs a boundary is crossed
  • How to set a boundary
  • My personal examples and emotional impact when I didn’t set boundaries

Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast:How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s podcast with her sisterThe Family Burrito

Big hugs to all the listeners! My little podcast to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world!

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Check out my blog about boundaries:

https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com/2022/07/20/6-reasons-why-its-important-to-set-boundaries/

2022 black history month blackmentalhealth boundaries bullies burnout Childhood chronic pain chronicpain conversation coronavirus covid daughter embrace family Father healing healthcare human design journey longcovid manipulation Mental Health mindbodyconnection mother motherhood mother] narcissist nurse nursepractitioner nursing parenting Podcast polyvagaltheory psychology purpose racism relationships selfcare selfhelp selflove Spirituality trauma Universe worthiness

Picture of Christine and Belinda discussing motherhood
conversation, mental health, Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus, self help

“You Can’t Keep Blaming Me”

A REAL Mom to Mom Conversation about Being Raised by Broken Women

August 7, 2022 by Christine ZethrausPMHNP-BC

episode 32: the warrior

Watch the response of Belinda’s Mother after expressing how her Mother’s abandonment impacted her childhood. Belinda’s response back to her Mother’s disappointing reaction is not to be missed! Bravo Belinda!



Check Out My Other Blog Articles of Interest…

Christine's High School Graduation picture

What It’s Like Being Raised by a Narcissistic Mother: Part Two

Why Discovering my Inner Worthiness was Crucial to my Healing What is a Narcissist? A narcissist is someone who has a grandiose sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. Oftentimes they can be controlling, manipulative and demanding. They also lack conscience and guilt which makes it very easy for them to… Continue reading What It’s Like Being Raised by a Narcissistic Mother: Part Two

How to Heal Chronic Pain with Dr. Les Aria, (part TWO), episode 34

Summary Do you have Chronic Pain? Ready for Pain Recovery? This episode is for YOU! We have a special guest today—Dr. Les Aria, a Pain Psychologist & Co-founder of Menda.Health, who specializes in helping people recover from chronic pain. Today, he’ll explain what polyvagal theory is and how it can help you feel safe when… Continue reading How to Heal Chronic Pain with Dr. Les Aria, (part TWO), episode 34

black mental health, community, conversation, culture, mental health, mental health, nursing, podcast, self help, Society

The Revealing Reasons Why I Am Grateful My Dad Was A Racist 

Why Witnessing Injustice on a Daily Basis was Necessary for My Purpose and Calling

By: Christine Zethraus, PMHNP-BC

A picture of Christine with her father
Christine (7th grade) and Charlie (Dad).
He picked me up in Fort Worth, TX after my mother kicked me out.
I was on my way to Georgia to live with him for a year.

Boy oh Boy…what a year that was!

Growing Up….

Growing up and being raised partly by a loud, obnoxious, alcoholic, drug fueled, racist father was draining. I am a lover by nature so having a parent who was the extreme opposite of myself was challenging to say the least. My father and I were polar opposites in our approach to life. He was harsh, crass, vulgar, and forceful. I am pensive, reflective, laid back, and try to see things from many perspectives. 

I ask a lot of questions. I crave truth and seek the other side of the story. My father made a lot of assumptions about others. And built his stubborn house there. 

Beginning of My Gratitude for my Racist Father…

Now, don’t get me wrong. I can be loud, relentless, in your face, challenging, and forceful when it comes to unfair treatment of others. This is where my gratitude for my racist father begins. He taught me sometimes IT IS necessary to get loud when you are fighting for what you believe in. It is necessary to be vocally forceful. Sometimes your approach is needs to be challenging and drain others I suppose.

Unfortunately, I can also have these same qualities when I feel personally betrayed in romantic relationships…ugh.

That story for another time. (hint: daddy issues)

Hearing the N-Word was Essential in my Childhood…

Hearing my Father say the N-Word constantly was absolutely necessary to my upbringing. Watching my father scream racist remarks to folks minding their own business driving by was imperative. Observing violence and constantly feeling fear in my Father’s presence was essential to my childhood. Being afraid of the person, parent, father figure, family member who looked like me was fundamental. 

My Purpose in this Life…

Why in the world would I ever say such a thing? Why would I say my Father’s violent behaviors and racist mindset were an essential part of my childhood? 

Because………

I would never have cared about any other issues outside of my own race, culture, economic status, education, and upbringing had I not experienced my racist Father’s wrath of misguided hate towards others. Along with his misguided hate towards me at times. Being front lines to daily injustice shaped who I am. Shaped my mission in this world.

I had to physically feel injustice. I had to emotionally feel injustice. I had to intellectually feel injustice. I had to encompass the enormity of all sides of to care, ask questions, reflect about the Injustices of different races, cultures, economic statuses, education and healthcare disparities. I HAD to experience, witness, feel the hate and fear of it all in order for ME to see the multiple sides of the injustice coin. 

And now……

I find solutions by seeking other’s truth, ask questions, and do my best to see it all from many perspectives.  

Check out my youtube Channel Below:

Healing Cycles of Abuse | Episode 31 | the adversity

Thank you to all my listeners, readers who are making the bold decision to heal! Healing truly is a choice. A choice you deserve.

The other side of that mountain of fear is waiting for your authentic self & your authentic happiness you are so worthy of.

-Christine Zethraus, Mental Health NP
mental health, mental health, podcast, self help

episode 1: the fear

A picture of me several days before I got Coronavirus in April 2020
Me at work days before my Coronavirus journey started

Summary

The beginning of my coronavirus journey which leads to unexpected discoveries within. A pivotal moment in my backyard when I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t breath. My brain told me I needed to call 911 or was I was going to die. My gut told me if I called 911 I would die because I believed it. This was the moment I decided to listen to my gut which forever changed the course of my life. 

Listen to my bizarre coronavirus and long-covid symptoms which happened in parts–cramped hands, excruciating headaches, numbness and tingling in my hands and feet, covid toe, brain fog, dry mouth, weird tongues, etc.  

Resources: 

Vagus nerve info

The Vagus Nerve: your secret weapon to in fighting stress 

Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast:How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s podcast with her sisterThe Family Burrito

Big hugs to all the listeners! My little podcast to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world!

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Transcription

Chris Allen and Christine
black mental health, community, conversation, mental health, podcast

episode 31: the adversity (Healing Cycles of Abuse with Chris Allen)

Christine and Chris

Summary

What does the word adversity mean to you? Chris Allen is the definition of overcoming adversity. 

A powerful follow up conversation with my new friend Chris Allen. His honesty, vulnerability, transparency, and directness about his difficult childhood filled with abuse and chaos inspires me to be more vulnerable and transparent about my own story.

Chris and I tell discuss losing our virginity at a young age, Chris’s former approach to sex and intimacy before meeting his beautiful wife, and his father’s suspicious suicide. And the weird thing Chris and I have in common! Find out the ONE question Chris COULD NOT answer at the end.

Listen to our first conversation episode 28: the reframe

Topics discussed: 

  • Codependency
  • Perfectionism
  • PTSD
  • anxiety, imposter syndrome 
  • toxic friends

Chris Allen is the CEO & Co-Founder of Advanced Computing and Technology, Father, Husband, and more!

Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast:How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s podcast with her sisterThe Family Burrito

Big hugs to all the listeners! My little podcast to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world! 

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Transcription

conversation, culture, divorce, mental health, podcast, self help

episode 29: the path (My Bold Conversation with The Path Podcast Host and Speaker-Coach Arlene Bolden-Korleh)

Summary

What if your path was planned since you were a little girl? What if you had a path of getting married, having children, a successful job, and living happily ever? What if your path changed without warning instantly crushing your hopes and dreams? 

My bold conversation with Arlene Bolden-Korleh about her unexpected journey of her path to divorce is honest, thoughtful, and enlightening.

Arlene’s podcast, The Path, eloquently describes itself as our “survival guide of BOLD sisters whose hopes & dreams takes a detour – forcing disappointments – to turning obstacles into opportunities.” Arlene turning her pain and disappointment into a passion to help other women is truly inspiring.

Arlene Bolden-Korleh is the creator and podcast host of The Path. Arlene is a Certified Speaker-Coach, and Consultant for the John Maxwell Team. She is a Motivator, Confidence Builder, The One Who Believes Purpose Is Bigger than obstacles!

Arlene’s Resources: 

Listen to Arlene’s podcast The Path here on Apple Podcast. The Path Podcast here on Buzzsprout. 

Listen to Arlene interview me about my coronavirus journey, my dysfunctional childhood, and how my racist alcoholic father impacted my own  path. Arlene asked me the uncomfortable questions this time. 

Connect with Arlene on Instagram | Twitter | FB

Email Arlene at thepath4ward@gmail.com if you have a BOLD story to tell on her podcast 

Christine’s Resources:  

Thank You to all the listeners for giving this podcast healing wings! I am forever grateful.

Connect with Christine onTwitter | Instagram | Blog | Facebook | Youtube 

Check out The Family Burritopodcast Christine makes with her sister Jessie — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com/2022/03/30/episode-23-the-stigma-solutions-to-mental-health-stigma-in-the-black-community-a-panel-discussion/

bullies, community, conversation, culture, podcast, self help, Society

episode 27: the bully (Conversation with Advocate for Bullied Children, Author and Blogger Cherie White)

Summary

This week I had a conversation with my new friend, blogger and author Cherie White, who is an Advocate for Bullied Children and Teenagers. Cherie’s personal childhood story of being bullied for 6 years after moving to a small town in Tennessee is heartbreakingly powerful. From a slow progression to constant violence. Her mission now is “Exposing Bullies and Liberating Targets to Make The World a Safer Place for All“. I learned so much about the intimation tactics of bullies. The non-verbal communication tactics of bullies blew my mind! Taking her power back has led to her mission and purpose. Just WOW!

Follow and connect with Cherie’s BLOG | https://cheriewhite.blog/

Cherie’s Books | From Victim to Victor Memoir | Townies, Cronies and Hayseeds |Kids Under the Latch Key | The Vow of Chastity Baker

Cherie’s Topics Discussed: 

Thank you to all my listeners! My little podcast I made to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world! Big hugs!

Christine’s Resources:

Please Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast: How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter| Instagram

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Blog

Email me at: Christine@Howcoronavirussavedmylife.com

The Family Burrito Podcast here

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Burnout symptoms and contributing factors
mental health, nursing, podcast, self help

episode 26: the burnout

Summary

In this episode of How Coronavirus Saved My Life podcast, is my personal story of burnout as a nurse.

Burnout is real. Burnout is definitely real if you’re a healthcare worker. Then throw additional gasoline on burnout if you’re a nurse working in the pandemic. Double the gasoline if you’re a nurse working on a covid unit.

Listen to my journey of why I became a nurse, the life changing events of 2001 leading me to my calling, and the surprising person who always encouraged me to become a nurse.

Check out my Blog Post about Burnout

Topics:

  • Nurse Burnout
  • Why I choose nursing
  • The slow rollercoaster of burnout starting in nursing school
  • Baby nurses vs veteran nurses
  • Nurses eating their young
  • The ICU environment filled with stressful noises, constant fight or flight, emotional impact of telling family members their loved one died,
  • The acuity of an inpatient psychiatric unit
  • How long covid symptoms forced me to make myself a priority
  • Forgetting to put myself on the list

Mayoclinic.org Job Burnout Questions here.

Thank you to all my listeners! My little podcast I made to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world! Big hugs!

Christine’s Resources:

Please Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast: How Coronavirus Saved My Life

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast on Twitter

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast on Instagram

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Blog

Email me at: Christine@Howcoronavirussavedmylife.com

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Transcription