Do you have Chronic Pain? Ready for Pain Recovery? This episode is for YOU!
We have a special guest today—Dr. Les Aria, a Pain Psychologist & Co-founder of Menda.Health, who specializes in helping people recover from chronic pain. Today, he’ll explain what polyvagal theory is and how it can help you feel safe when you’re dealing with chronic pain.
This week’s episode, Part TWO, on polyvagal theory and its application to chronic pain therapy. Polyvagal theory is the science of feeling safe, and it’s based on decades of research by Dr. Stephen Porges, who pioneered research into the autonomic nervous system and its relationship with emotions.
Do you have Chronic Pain? Ready for Pain Recovery? This episode is for YOU!
We have a special guest today—Dr. Les Aria, a Pain Psychologist who specializes in helping people recover from chronic pain. Today, he’ll explain what polyvagal theory is and how it can help you feel safe when you’re dealing with chronic pain.
This week’s episode, Part One, on polyvagal theory and its application to chronic pain therapy. Polyvagal theory is the science of feeling safe, and it’s based on decades of research by Dr. Stephen Porges, who pioneered research into the autonomic nervous system and its relationship with emotions.
A Mental Health Healthcare Practitioner who got Coronavirus in April 2020 which changed the course of my life. I created How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast as a love letter to humanity. Having Long Covid symptoms, a failing marriage, fear, burnout from healthcare, frustration were launching points to my self-healing. All the answers we are seeking are within. No one is going to save you but yourself through self-healing and unwinding your childhood programming conditions.
Listen to episode 33 about boundaries. Boundaries = Self-Love
Summary
Were you taught it’s ok to say “No” in childhood? Were you taught it’s ok to speak up for your needs? Neither was I.
Teaching myself how to set boundaries is a work in progress. My narcissistic mother crossing my boundary for the last time was my key to emotional freedom and authentic worthiness.
In this solo episode, I cover all things boundaries.
Rule of Thumb: Those who react the loudest when a boundary is set is evidence the boundary was needed in the first place(read this again).
Topics Covered:
What is a boundary?
Why boundaries are important to your well-being
4 types of boundaries
Signs a boundary is crossed
How to set a boundary
My personal examples and emotional impact when I didn’t set boundaries
Watch the response of Belinda’s Mother after expressing how her Mother’s abandonment impacted her childhood. Belinda’s response back to her Mother’s disappointing reaction is not to be missed! Bravo Belinda!
Why Discovering my Inner Worthiness was Crucial to my Healing What is a Narcissist? A narcissist is someone who has a grandiose sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. Oftentimes they can be controlling, manipulative and demanding. They also lack conscience and guilt which makes it very easy for them to… Continue reading What It’s Like Being Raised by a Narcissistic Mother: Part Two
Summary Do you have Chronic Pain? Ready for Pain Recovery? This episode is for YOU! We have a special guest today—Dr. Les Aria, a Pain Psychologist & Co-founder of Menda.Health, who specializes in helping people recover from chronic pain. Today, he’ll explain what polyvagal theory is and how it can help you feel safe when… Continue reading How to Heal Chronic Pain with Dr. Les Aria, (part TWO), episode 34
Me at work days before my Coronavirus journey started
Summary
The beginning of my coronavirus journey which leads to unexpected discoveries within. A pivotal moment in my backyard when I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t breath. My brain told me I needed to call 911 or was I was going to die. My gut told me if I called 911 I would die because I believed it. This was the moment I decided to listen to my gut which forever changed the course of my life.
Listen to my bizarre coronavirus and long-covid symptoms which happened in parts–cramped hands, excruciating headaches, numbness and tingling in my hands and feet, covid toe, brain fog, dry mouth, weird tongues, etc.
What does the word adversity mean to you? Chris Allen is the definition of overcoming adversity.
A powerful follow up conversation with my new friend Chris Allen. His honesty, vulnerability, transparency, and directness about his difficult childhood filled with abuse and chaos inspires me to be more vulnerable and transparent about my own story.
Chris and I tell discuss losing our virginity at a young age, Chris’s former approach to sex and intimacy before meeting his beautiful wife, and his father’s suspicious suicide. And the weird thing Chris and I have in common! Find out the ONE question Chris COULD NOT answer at the end.
What if your path was planned since you were a little girl? What if you had a path of getting married, having children, a successful job, and living happily ever? What if your path changed without warning instantly crushing your hopes and dreams?
My bold conversation with Arlene Bolden-Korleh about her unexpected journey of her path to divorce is honest, thoughtful, and enlightening.
Arlene’s podcast, The Path, eloquently describes itself as our “survival guide of BOLD sisters whose hopes & dreams takes a detour – forcing disappointments – to turning obstacles into opportunities.” Arlene turning her pain and disappointment into a passion to help other women is truly inspiring.
Arlene Bolden-Korleh is the creator and podcast host of The Path. Arlene is a Certified Speaker-Coach, and Consultant for the John Maxwell Team. She is a Motivator, Confidence Builder, The One Who Believes Purpose Is Bigger than obstacles!
Listen to Arlene interview me about my coronavirus journey, my dysfunctional childhood, and how my racist alcoholic father impacted my own path. Arlene asked me the uncomfortable questions this time.
This episode left me speechless. It is not often I meet someone who’s childhood has similarities to mine. Much less someone who is as direct and transparent about the value of having a traumatic childhood , how reframing our conditioned perspective of our painful past is where your power lies and shows our true purpose.
My honest no-holds-barred conversation with Chris Allen, CEO & Co-Founder of Advanced Computing and Technology, Athlete, Father, Husband, former prisoner turned Advocate, about his Journey of Reframing Conditioned Views of Male Strength is a game changer. How beautiful for two people who barely know one another to instantly trust & feel safe in sharing their dysfunctional childhood resulting in seeking love in toxic relationships, multiple sex partners, and choices altering our destiny forever.
Society tells us that men should be “strong”, the head of the family, the one that we can lean on, the one who has all the answers, the one who won’t hurt you, the one who will rescue you. Then women, such as myself, become disappointed when men do not live up to this misguided societal conditioning.
The purpose of today’s episode is to start reframing our misguided conditioned beliefs about male strength.
Thank You Chris Allen for trusting the listeners with your story. Thank you for being honest about your own mistakes you made in past relationships. Thank you Chris for being vulnerable. You are a role model in male vulnerability.
Chris Allen is a role model in Male Vulnerability. Male Vulnerability is the VERY definition of Male Strength.
This week I had a conversation with my new friend, blogger and author Cherie White, who is an Advocate for Bullied Children and Teenagers. Cherie’s personal childhood story of being bullied for 6 years after moving to a small town in Tennessee is heartbreakingly powerful. From a slow progression to constant violence. Her mission now is “Exposing Bullies and Liberating Targets to Make The World a Safer Place for All“. I learned so much about the intimation tactics of bullies. The non-verbal communication tactics of bullies blew my mind! Taking her power back has led to her mission and purpose. Just WOW!
Thank you to all my listeners! My little podcast I made to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world! Big hugs!
Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message
How Working in Healthcare has Impacted my Emotional and Physical Well-being
My Burnout Beginning
Burnout is REAL. Burnout is definitely real if you’re a healthcare worker. Then throw additional gasoline on burnout if you’re a nurse working in the pandemic. Double it if you’re a nurse working the ICU.
Before I became a Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, I worked as an ICU nurse for 5 years in a Level I Trauma Center. What does a “Level I Trauma Center” mean? Level I Trauma Center means my patients had a variety of life-threatening critical injuries such as gunshot wounds, car wrecks, plane crashes, strokes, sepsis, etc. Think constant extreme stress (fight or flight).
I purposely choose to work in the ICU because I knew this intense training and experience would be beneficial for my planned advanced nursing school. Quite frankly I had no clue what I was getting myself into. Looking back, I’m actually grateful I was naïve about my new adventure because this was the beginning of my nurse burnout story. The beginning of my nursing burnout signs affecting my emotional and physical well-being.
Hint: I didn’t listen or see the burnout signs.
Burnout Symptoms
Pandemic Burnout
Fast forward 12 years later where I am now a Mental Health Nurse Practitioner working during the Covid-19 Pandemic dealing with a different kind of trauma. An emotional one. And I’m not just talking about my patients. My own personal emotional trauma of FEAR. Fear of getting covid, fear we are all going to die, fear I would need heart surgery because of my long covid symptoms, fear there would be no food on the shelves, fear my lung damage due to long-covid, fear my family would die, and fear the world was ending.
Fear was the dominate emotion during the pandemic
I made the assumption my healthcare professional burnout was because of working during the pandemic. Nope. My burnout started long before working in mental health during the pandemic. My burnout started in nursing school when I put everyone and everything else before my own well-being. My burnout started when I was not myself a priority.
I first noticed my burnout symptoms when I had Coronavirus then Long-Covid Symptoms in 2020. Having Long-Covid forced me to slow down, forced me to re-evaluate what’s important, forced me to make myself priority. I had no other choice because I was on a path to chronic illness, auto-immune disease and most likely early death.
Coach Marielle Honse and I continue our conversation about my favorite topic —Human Design.
Before listening and downloading this episode….
Listen and download my previous episode– episode 21: the design —if you haven’t already. Marielle and I start with the basics of human design, what human design is, and how each person has a unique human design.
Highly recommend Marielle’s one on one 8 week Human Design Coaching or a personal Human Design reading. It’s a game changer! For real!
Thank you to all my listeners! My little podcast I made to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world! Big hugs!
Listen and download other episodes from my podcast:
How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast Hosted by Christine Zethraus, PMHNP-BC
Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — This episode is sponsored by ·
Check out The Family Burrito Podcast Christine makes with her sister Jessie here
Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of the How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast. — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message
Melissa Llarena and I have a powerful conversation about her childhood. Quite frankly, I am still wrapping my mind around what it was like for Melissa as a little girl being raised by a Mother who has Bipolar Disorder. Melissa eloquently paints the picture of herself as a little girl who’s mother was frequently hospitalized, off her meds, manic, grandiose, and unstable. A little girl who was shuffled around, raising herself, constant chaos, and a foundation created with uncertainty and danger. I am honored Melissa Llarena trusted my listeners and myself for giving her a safe space to speak her childhood truth.
Personal Note:
Dear Melissa,
I am so proud of you for the bravery of sharing your story. This IS YOUR Geraldo Rivera moment. Little Melissa is worthy of feeling safe in her/your truth. You inspire me in unimaginable ways! Thank you. I am humbled. Keeping speaking YOUR truth. You deserve it…. and so does the world. Go Cycle
Melissa Llarena’s Bio:
Melissa is a business mentor, career coach, Forbes contributor, and greatest cheerleader to fellow mompreneurs. She is the creator and host of ``An Interview with Melissa Llarena”which is a podcast for super curious humans who desire to learn from humans who courageously and creatively went after their curiosities, and made an impact, so they can too.
Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message
episode 21: the design (Conversation with Human Design Expert and Coach Marielle Honse)
Intro:
After I emerged from quarantine in April 2020 I was a different person. My brain was different, my soul was different, & the things that spoke to my heart were different. I could no longer go back to the person I was before. The person I was before was constantly frustrated, unhappy without knowing why, and living in a world of pressure and dissatisfaction.
As I journeyed through my spiritual transformation, I came across Human Design. The more I read and learned about my own Human Design, the more I was fascinated. Human Design (HD) has helped me understand my gifts & talents, how to use frustration as my superpower, why I had a traumatic childhood.
Today I brought my friend and Human Design Coach and Reader Marielle to discuss what exactly is Human Design and how this can transform your life as well.
episode 21 topics:
Human Design Coach Marielle gives background about herself, how she found HD, and why it resonated with her
Marielle explains Human Design two ways
Bodygraphs
Gates
Marielle explains who developed and discovered HD
Neutrino flow
Energy Types (Generators, Manifestors, MGs, Projectors, and Reflectors)
Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast. — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message
A narcissist is someone who has a grandiose sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. Oftentimes they can be controlling, manipulative and demanding. They also lack conscience and guilt which makes it very easy for them to hurt others without feeling remorseful or guilty about what they have done or said to harm another person.
Now imagine this person is your Mother.
(7TH GRADE) My Father picking me up from my Mom’s after she kicked me out of the house.
The Effects of a Narcissistic Mother
The effects of being raised by a narcissistic mother are profound.
Growing up with a narcissistic mother made it very difficult for me to trust anyone, especially men, I never knew if they would hurt me or not. I was constantly looking at every aspect of their behavior trying to determine if they were good or bad people so that way I could protect myself from further harm but this became exhausting after a while because there was no way I could.
Not to mention the constant need for external validation.
A young me at the beginning of a life full of manipulation and gaslighting.
Abnormal Parenting
It wasn’t until years later that I realized this kind of parenting wasn’t normal; it wasn’t how other moms treated their kids. It didn’t seem strange at the time because I had no point of reference; my mother was just “the way she was.”
But when you grow up with a narcissistic parent, it can be extremely confusing and painful — especially when you don’t even know that your parent has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
It took me years to realize that there was something wrong with this situation; it wasn’t just me making things up in my head or overreacting to things that weren’t really happening at all…it wasMy Narcissistic Mother.
She is the person who will remind you of your mistakes and shortcomings every chance she gets. She will create stories that portray you as a terrible person, a burden on society, and a waste of space. She will make sure everyone knows you are a disappointment, especially if they have something she wants or needs from them.
Meet Your Narcissistic Mother
She has no empathy for others; in fact, she feels superior to most people in her life. She cannot feel remorse over anything she has done wrong or hurtful things she has said. She expects everyone to meet her high expectations without question, but never does anything herself because it is beneath her.
Your Narcissistic Mother does not like anything about you; everything that makes up who you are is wrong in her eyes.
Being raised by a narcissistic mother is a form of emotional abuse that can have a devastating effect on the child’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Narcissistic mothers are often very good at creating an illusion of being wonderful parents. They are often charming, charismatic and superficially seem to be loving and attentive. The reality is that they lack empathy for their children and only care about their own needs, feelings and desires. HELLO GUILT TRIPS!
Stay Tuned for Part Threeof What It’s Like Being Raised by a Narcissistic Mother. *HINT: EXHAUSTING
I’ll provide examples galore of her subtle manipulation.
My hope is for others to heal by sharing my story. You deserve peace. You are worthy.
Society tells us that Mothers are kind, supportive, and your biggest cheerleader. Society tells us Mothers are warm, make chocolate chip cookies, listen without judgment, and push you to be your best.
My mother was the exact opposite.
Society tells us Narcissists are men who drive Corvettes, born with a silver spoon, arrogant and void of emotions. Society never mentions women as Narcissists. Society certainly never mentions Mothers—”your biggest cheerleader”—-as Narcissists.
I am a Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. I diagnose and treat people with Psychiatric Disorders. I diagnose personality disorders as well. I have been in the profession of Mental Health for over 15 years.
I am considered a Mental Health “expert”.
Even I did not know my Mother had Severe Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Childhood Confusion
Being a child raised by a Mother who was abusive, jealous, in competition with me, who punished me emotionally for questioning her behaviors and constantly vilifying me for my childhood “mistakes” was confusing.
Confusing to my inner worthiness.
My Mother’s Narcissistic traits were subtle. Subtle when you compare her to my father, who was a racist, vulgar, alcoholic.
So, it was difficult for me—a child—to describe exactly why she was awful. Difficult to understand why my Mother, who society deems as a martyr, your best friend, your biggest support–disliked me. And the odd and confusing feeling of having nothing in common with your mother.
So what does a Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother do? She expresses her hurt, confusion, and lack of worthiness through her behaviors.
My 16th Birthday pretending everything was Ok when it was notTurning 16 feeling lost and confused
Teenage Years
My teenage years were one of rebellion, promiscuity, and illicit drug experimentation. My teenage rebellion was anything but subtle.
My behaviors screamed and spotlighted the abuse I was suffering. My lack of not giving a shit, invisibility, and no direction was a mirror to my homelife.
A mirror to my lack of worthiness.
You see, when you are raised by a Narcissistic Mother you constantly question yourself, question your reality, question your judgement, question your truth, and most importantly—your worthiness.
Below are examples of my Narcissistic Mother’s traits and abusive behaviors:
Selfish
Sibling Triangulation
Gaslighting
No Boundaries
Pitting me against my father
Disrespectful
Lies
Love Bombing
Disregard
Secret Keeper (not)
Manipulation
Conditional Love
Destroying my Reputation
Fantasy Land
Pretending to be Vulnerable
Gossiping
Purposely Provoking
Thriving off Chaos
Abandoning during crisis
Minimal Affection
Check out my podcast episode discovering my mother is a narcissist.
My hope is for others to heal by hearing my story. You are not alone.
Do you have Chronic Pain? Ready for Pain Recovery? This episode is for YOU!
We have a special guest today—Dr. Les Aria, a Pain Psychologist & Co-founder of Menda.Health, who specializes in helping people recover from chronic pain. Today, he’ll explain what polyvagal theory is and how it can help you feel safe when you’re dealing with chronic pain.
This week’s episode, Part TWO, on polyvagal theory and its application to chronic pain therapy. Polyvagal theory is the science of feeling safe, and it’s based on decades of research by Dr. Stephen Porges, who pioneered research into the autonomic nervous system and its relationship with emotions.
Why Witnessing Injustice on a Daily Basis was Necessary for My Purpose and Calling
By: Christine Zethraus, PMHNP-BC
Christine (7th grade) and Charlie (Dad). He picked me up in Fort Worth, TX after my mother kicked me out. I was on my way to Georgia to live with him for a year. Boy oh Boy…what a year that was!
Growing Up….
Growing up and being raised partly by a loud, obnoxious, alcoholic, drug fueled, racist father was draining. I am a lover by nature so having a parent who was the extreme opposite of myself was challenging to say the least. My father and I were polar opposites in our approach to life. He was harsh, crass, vulgar, and forceful. I am pensive, reflective, laid back, and try to see things from many perspectives.
I ask a lot of questions. I crave truth and seek the other side of the story. My father made a lot of assumptions about others. And built his stubborn house there.
Beginning of My Gratitude for my Racist Father…
Now, don’t get me wrong. I can be loud, relentless, in your face, challenging, and forceful when it comes to unfair treatment of others. This is where my gratitude for my racist father begins. He taught me sometimes IT IS necessary to get loud when you are fighting for what you believe in. It is necessary to be vocally forceful. Sometimes your approach is needs to be challenging and drain others I suppose.
Unfortunately, I can also have these same qualities when I feel personally betrayed in romantic relationships…ugh.
That story for another time. (hint: daddy issues)
Hearing the N-Word was Essential in my Childhood…
Hearing my Father say the N-Word constantly was absolutely necessary to my upbringing. Watching my father scream racist remarks to folks minding their own business driving by was imperative. Observing violence and constantly feeling fear in my Father’s presence was essential to my childhood. Being afraid of the person, parent, father figure, family member who looked like me was fundamental.
My Purpose in this Life…
Why in the world would I ever say such a thing? Why would I say my Father’s violent behaviors and racist mindset were an essential part of my childhood?
Because………
I would never have cared about any other issues outside of my own race, culture, economic status, education, and upbringing had I not experienced my racist Father’s wrath of misguided hate towards others. Along with his misguided hate towards me at times. Being front lines to daily injustice shaped who I am. Shaped my mission in this world.
I had to physically feel injustice. I had to emotionally feel injustice. I had to intellectually feel injustice. I had to encompass the enormity of all sides of to care, ask questions, reflect about the Injustices of different races, cultures, economic statuses, education and healthcare disparities. I HAD to experience, witness, feel the hate and fear of it all in order for ME to see the multiple sides of the injustice coin.
And now……
I find solutions by seeking other’s truth, ask questions, and do my best to see it all from many perspectives.
