Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus

The Balloons of Childhood Programming

What kind of balloon will you hand your child today? What balloon will you give your inner child?

The childhood programming balloons I was given were demeaning, abusive, manipulative,etc which created a constant environment of uncertainty and a foundation of lack of worth. 

My parents were married for just a few short years…

But continued to be verbally abusive to one another and constantly complaining to ME–a child–about what they hated about the other person. 

Everytime my father would say derogatory remarks about my mom and vice versa, I naturally perceived this to be about me. Each complaint they made was a direct reflection about who I was. 

Children think in concrete terms due to brain development. Children believe they are an extension of their parents. If one parent is trashing the other, the child takes it in deeply–to the core of their worth. 

I recently had a friend tell me I was cherished. I was stunned because I had never heard or witnessed my parents or any adult say this, especially not to me. I had to look up the word Cherish to really know what it meant. 

So today the Balloon I give to my child is how much I cherish her father. You are cherished 

Mr. Perez. 

Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus

episode 14: the dysregulation

Summary

In this episode I interview my therapist friend Sandy, LPC who blew my mind with her poetic Facebook posts about the effects of childhood trauma on the body, importance of self-protection (two little words saying N-O), and much more. I am excited to venture into an interview style podcast so I, along with others, can get the healing tools for our individual needs.  — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/support

Transcription

Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus

Welcome Back to Codependency…

Welcome back to day 2 of Codependency….

Now that we are UNconsciously in a trauma bond on the Island of Save and Rescue..

It’s time to kick it up a notch! We now enter Phase 2 of “Prove your Love for Me”. This phase consists of TESTS! Everyone likes a good test, right? Don’t worry the TESTS will start out as little pebbles then become boulders!! And once you have passed all my inner child’s tests then we do something called RAISE THE BAR.

Sigh…..well now you’ve passed all the unconscious tests, it quiet, no chaos…which guess what? Scares us because we’ve never known what it feels like to be safe.

So now what? I KNOW….we’ll become workaholics! Now why in the world would we do this? Oh that’s right…to AVOID the deep inner sadness and unworthiness we feel. Work provides us with rewards! Work is where we are near perfect! Plus all of our friends are there!! Woo hoo! It’s like a huge playground of FIGHT or FLIGHT. We’ll be so busy we won’t have time to think about all those uncomfortable feelings.

Fast forward 5 years later….my inner child and myself can’t figure out why we are so burned out and unhappy…..mmmmm.

And this concludes Codependency Theatre.

Join us tomorrow for a Special Thanksgiving Edition of “Why don’t we have sex anymore?” (Inner child shrugs)

Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus

episode 14: the dysregulation

Summary

In this episode I interview my therapist friend Sandy, LPC who blew my mind with her poetic Facebook posts about the effects of childhood trauma on the body, importance of self-protection (two little words saying N-O), and much more. I am excited to venture into an interview style podcast so I, along with others, can get the healing tools for our individual needs.  — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/support