Tag: boundaries

Why it’s Important to Your Mental Well-Being

Christine Zethraus, PMHNP

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What is a Boundary?

A boundary is direct communication about what YOU need, what YOUR limits are, what your willing to do or not do, tells the other what you’re thinking or feeling, provides space between yourself and the other, and gives clear expectations.

We think people can read our minds. We think people should know how we are feeling or what we are thinking. We think people should know when we need help. We think people should know that thing they did was wrong. We think people should know when they hurt our feelings.

They don’t. Most of the time they are unaware. Or they feel so guilty they don’t want to face it.

Boundaries create safety for everyone involved. Boundaries are love for yourself. Boundaries are love for the other.

Below are 6 Reasons Why it’s Important to Set Boundaries:

1. Protects your emotional and physical energy: You can’t give to others if you haven’t given to yourself first, otherwise, it’s called judgement. Boundaries protects your precious emotional and physical energy. You then help from a place of love when you put yourself first before helping others.
2. Avoids Future Conflicts and Resentment: Being direct with a simple statement about what you need or what your boundary is, helps the other person on the receiving end. Supports healthy communication.
3. Allows you to define your emotional and physical space: This is a BIG one for me. I need lots of alone time. I need lots of space after working a full day in a mental health setting. I need quiet with little interruption. Everyone deserves peace. Telling others you need time alone is SUPER important to your well-being.
4. Makes your Relationships Last Longer: Setting boundaries creates space for deeper connection. Boundaries tell your partner what you need instead of a guessing miscommunication game.
5. Allows you to Practice Self-Respect: Most of us were not taught to set boundaries in childhood. Most of us were not taught it’s ok to say NO. Most of us were raised by broken or emotionally immature people. Boundaries tells our brain we are safe. Our brain needs this because it thinks we still need protection from childhood.
6. Enables you to set reasonable consequences for violating your space: YOU define your own consequence. NO ONE gets a say so on the importance of your space. Not your mother. Not your father. Not your partner. Not your child. And certainly not society or your religious upbringing.

Reminder: Those who react the loudest to the boundary, is reinforcement the boundary was needed in the first place.

Check out my latest podcast episode where Belinda and I discuss importance of boundaries in toxic families: