mental health

What It’s Like Being Raised by a Narcissistic Mother: Part One

Why Discovering my Inner Worthiness was Crucial to my Healing


Society’s Mother Conditioning

Society tells us that Mothers are kind, supportive, and your biggest cheerleader. Society tells us Mothers are warm, make chocolate chip cookies, listen without judgment, and push you to be your best. 

My mother was the exact opposite. 

Society tells us Narcissists are men who drive Corvettes, born with a silver spoon, arrogant and void of emotions. Society never mentions women as Narcissists. Society certainly never mentions Mothers—”your biggest cheerleader”—-as Narcissists.

I am a Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. I diagnose and treat people with Psychiatric Disorders. I diagnose personality disorders as well. I have been in the profession of Mental Health for over 15 years. 

I am considered a Mental Health “expert”.

Even I did not know my Mother had Severe Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Childhood Confusion

Being a child raised by a Mother who was abusive, jealous, in competition with me, who punished me emotionally for questioning her behaviors and constantly vilifying me for my childhood “mistakes” was confusing. 

Confusing to my inner worthiness

My Mother’s Narcissistic traits were subtle. Subtle when you compare her to my father, who was a racist, vulgar, alcoholic. 

So, it was difficult for me—a child—to describe exactly why she was awful. Difficult to understand why my Mother, who society deems as a martyr, your best friend, your biggest support–disliked me. And the odd and confusing feeling of having nothing in common with your mother.

So what does a Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother do? She expresses her hurt, confusion, and lack of worthiness through her behaviors.


My 16th Birthday
My 16th Birthday pretending everything was Ok when it was not
Turning 16 feeling lost and confused


Teenage Years

My teenage years were one of rebellion, promiscuity, and illicit drug experimentation. My teenage rebellion was anything but subtle.

My behaviors screamed and spotlighted the abuse I was suffering. My lack of not giving a shit, invisibility, and no direction was a mirror to my homelife.

A mirror to my lack of worthiness

You see, when you are raised by a Narcissistic Mother you constantly question yourself, question your reality, question your judgement, question your truth, and most importantly—your worthiness.  

Below are examples of my Narcissistic Mother’s traits and abusive behaviors: 

  1. Selfish 
  2. Sibling Triangulation
  3. Gaslighting 
  4. No Boundaries
  5. Pitting me against my father
  6. Disrespectful
  7. Lies
  8. Love Bombing
  9. Disregard
  10. Secret Keeper (not)
  11. Manipulation
  12. Conditional Love
  13. Destroying my Reputation 
  14. Fantasy Land 
  15. Pretending to be Vulnerable 
  16. Gossiping 
  17. Purposely Provoking 
  18. Thriving off Chaos 
  19. Abandoning during crisis 
  20. Minimal Affection 

Check out my podcast episode discovering my mother is a narcissist.

My hope is for others to heal by hearing my story. You are not alone.

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast

Stay tuned for Part Two of my journey.

2022 alcoholism black history month boundaries bullies burnout Childhood chronicpain chronic pain conversation coronavirus embrace evidence based family Father healing healthcare human design journal journey longcovid meditation Mental Health mindbodyconnection mother motherhood narcissist nursepractitioner nursing parenting Podcast polyvagaltheory psychology racism recovery science selfcare selfhelp selflove Spirituality therapy trauma Universe vagusnerve worthiness

Picture of Christine and Dr. Les Aria
mental health, podcast

episode 34: the polyvagal (How to Heal Chronic Pain with Dr. Les Aria, part ONE)

Picture of Christine and Dr. Les Aria
Christine and Les discussing the groundbreaking The Polyvagal Theory

It Always Seems Impossible…Until It’s Done

Nelson Mandela

Summary

Do you have Chronic Pain? Ready for Pain Recovery? This episode is for YOU!

We have a special guest today—Dr. Les Aria, a Pain Psychologist who specializes in helping people recover from chronic pain. Today, he’ll explain what polyvagal theory is and how it can help you feel safe when you’re dealing with chronic pain.

This week’s episode, Part One, on polyvagal theory and its application to chronic pain therapy. Polyvagal theory is the science of feeling safe, and it’s based on decades of research by Dr. Stephen Porges, who pioneered research into the autonomic nervous system and its relationship with emotions.

Check out Dr. Les Aria’s Pain Relief Apphttps://www.menda.health/

Topics Covered:

  • Healing Chronic Pain through the Vagus Nerve
  • Ways to stimulate your Vagus Nerve
  • Polyvagal Framework Ladder of Feeling Safe
  • Mind Body Connection
  • Trauma and Chronic Pain brain pathways
  • Autonomic Nervous System
  • Long Covid Symptoms
  • Shut Down Phase of Relapse connected to Trauma
  • Why slow breathing is key 
  • Wisdom of your Frontal Lobe
  • Safe and Sound Protocol

Connect with Dr. Les Aria:

Website: https://lesariaphd.com/

Youtube: Myndfulness here

Podcast–Dynamic Healing– here 

Safe and Sound Protocol here 

Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast:How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s podcast with her sisterThe Family Burrito


Big hugs to all the listeners! My little podcast to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world!

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

episode 43: the cord (How My Dad's Death Was A Gift To My Healing) How Coronavirus Saved My Life

episode 43: the chord (How My Dad's Death Was A Gift To My Healing) When my dad died, a toxic limb was severed from my body. It was startling when the detective called to tell me my Dad was dead. I no longer had to endure my father's dysfunctional behaviors. He was dead. So now what? In this episode, I share epiphanies about my dad’s death being a gift to my healing and the unconditional love I gave him directly before he died despite the hurt he caused me in childhood. My father’s death gave me unspeakable freedom and release. His death created a deeper pathway to my inner worthiness.  My father’s death led me to discover my mother is a narcissist. How? Because his chaotic behaviors were no longer in the picture or a distraction. A fog had lifted. I could see my mother's abuse clearly now.  ———————————————————————– This episode is sponsored by Uphealing Mental Healthcare. Uphealing Mental Healthcare is a telehealth service in the Dallas / Fort Worth, providing psychiatric treatment with medication management and therapy. Visit uphealing.org for more information. http://uphealing.org —————————————————————- Connect with Christine for Mental Health Discussions and Tools for Recovery: ⁠https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com⁠ ⁠ ⁠⁠Twitter⁠ |⁠ ⁠⁠Instagram⁠ |⁠ ⁠⁠website⁠ | ⁠Youtube⁠ | ⁠FB ⁠ Check out Christine's other podcast with her sister ⁠The Family Burrito⁠ Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of ⁠How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message
  1. episode 43: the cord (How My Dad's Death Was A Gift To My Healing)
  2. episode 42: the perspective (How Changing Your Perspective is Healing)
  3. episode 41: the uncertainty (How to Embrace Uncertainty Rather Than Fearing It)
  4. episode 40: the injustice (How My Father's Racism Impacted My Childhood)
  5. episode 39: the gratitude (How My Journaling Practice Saved My Life)
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mental health, mental health, nursing, podcast, podcast, self help

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast- episode 33: the boundary

Picture of the word "boundary" spelled out
Listen to episode 33 about boundaries. Boundaries = Self-Love

Summary

Were you taught it’s ok to say “No” in childhood? Were you taught it’s ok to speak up for your needs? Neither was I. 

Teaching myself how to set boundaries is a work in progress. My narcissistic mother crossing my boundary for the last time was my key to emotional freedom and authentic worthiness. 

In this solo episode, I cover all things boundaries. 

Rule of Thumb: Those who react the loudest when a boundary is set is evidence the boundary was needed in the first place (read this again).

Topics Covered: 

  • What is a boundary?
  • Why boundaries are important to your well-being
  • 4 types of boundaries 
  • Signs a boundary is crossed
  • How to set a boundary
  • My personal examples and emotional impact when I didn’t set boundaries

Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast:How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s podcast with her sisterThe Family Burrito

Big hugs to all the listeners! My little podcast to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world!

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Check out my blog about boundaries:

https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com/2022/07/20/6-reasons-why-its-important-to-set-boundaries/

2022 alcoholism black history month boundaries bullies burnout Childhood chronicpain chronic pain conversation coronavirus embrace evidence based family Father healing healthcare human design journal journey longcovid meditation Mental Health mindbodyconnection mother motherhood narcissist nursepractitioner nursing parenting Podcast polyvagaltheory psychology racism recovery science selfcare selfhelp selflove Spirituality therapy trauma Universe vagusnerve worthiness

Picture of Christine and Belinda discussing motherhood
conversation, mental health, Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus, self help

“You Can’t Keep Blaming Me”

A REAL Mom to Mom Conversation about Being Raised by Broken Women

August 7, 2022 by Christine ZethrausPMHNP-BC

episode 32: the warrior

Watch the response of Belinda’s Mother after expressing how her Mother’s abandonment impacted her childhood. Belinda’s response back to her Mother’s disappointing reaction is not to be missed! Bravo Belinda!



Check Out My Other Blog Articles of Interest…

episode 39: the gratitude (How My Journaling Practice Saved My Life)

Summary This Episode is about JOURNALING and GRATITUDE – How Journaling has helped me understand myself.  When you start your day by Writing 5 Things you are Grateful for, YOU start with Love for Yourself.  Starting off with Gratitude releases Oxytocin, the Love Hormone, LOVE FOR YOURSELF.   Listen as I am shifting through my past…