Why Discovering my Inner Worthiness was Crucial to my Healing
What is a Narcissist?
A narcissist is someone who has a grandiose sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. Oftentimes they can be controlling, manipulative and demanding. They also lack conscience and guilt which makes it very easy for them to hurt others without feeling remorseful or guilty about what they have done or said to harm another person.
Now imagine this person is your Mother.
The Effects of a Narcissistic Mother
The effects of being raised by a narcissistic mother are profound.
Growing up with a narcissistic mother made it very difficult for me to trust anyone, especially men, I never knew if they would hurt me or not. I was constantly looking at every aspect of their behavior trying to determine if they were good or bad people so that way I could protect myself from further harm but this became exhausting after a while because there was no way I could.
Not to mention the constant need for external validation.
Abnormal Parenting
It wasn’t until years later that I realized this kind of parenting wasn’t normal; it wasn’t how other moms treated their kids. It didn’t seem strange at the time because I had no point of reference; my mother was just “the way she was.”
But when you grow up with a narcissistic parent, it can be extremely confusing and painful — especially when you don’t even know that your parent has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
It took me years to realize that there was something wrong with this situation; it wasn’t just me making things up in my head or overreacting to things that weren’t really happening at all…it was My Narcissistic Mother.
She is the person who will remind you of your mistakes and shortcomings every chance she gets. She will create stories that portray you as a terrible person, a burden on society, and a waste of space. She will make sure everyone knows you are a disappointment, especially if they have something she wants or needs from them.
Meet Your Narcissistic Mother
She has no empathy for others; in fact, she feels superior to most people in her life. She cannot feel remorse over anything she has done wrong or hurtful things she has said. She expects everyone to meet her high expectations without question, but never does anything herself because it is beneath her.
Your Narcissistic Mother does not like anything about you; everything that makes up who you are is wrong in her eyes.
Being raised by a narcissistic mother is a form of emotional abuse that can have a devastating effect on the child’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Narcissistic mothers are often very good at creating an illusion of being wonderful parents. They are often charming, charismatic and superficially seem to be loving and attentive. The reality is that they lack empathy for their children and only care about their own needs, feelings and desires. HELLO GUILT TRIPS!
Stay Tuned for Part Three of What It’s Like Being Raised by a Narcissistic Mother. *HINT: EXHAUSTING
I’ll provide examples galore of her subtle manipulation.
My hope is for others to heal by sharing my story. You deserve peace. You are worthy.