mental health

An important question you might ask yourself…

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One of my favorite questions a collaged asked me

Continue reading “An important question you might ask yourself…”
mental health

What It’s Like Being Raised by a Narcissistic Mother: Part One

Why Discovering my Inner Worthiness was Crucial to my Healing


Society’s Mother Conditioning

Society tells us that Mothers are kind, supportive, and your biggest cheerleader. Society tells us Mothers are warm, make chocolate chip cookies, listen without judgment, and push you to be your best. 

My mother was the exact opposite. 

Society tells us Narcissists are men who drive Corvettes, born with a silver spoon, arrogant and void of emotions. Society never mentions women as Narcissists. Society certainly never mentions Mothers—”your biggest cheerleader”—-as Narcissists.

I am a Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. I diagnose and treat people with Psychiatric Disorders. I diagnose personality disorders as well. I have been in the profession of Mental Health for over 15 years. 

I am considered a Mental Health “expert”.

Even I did not know my Mother had Severe Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Childhood Confusion

Being a child raised by a Mother who was abusive, jealous, in competition with me, who punished me emotionally for questioning her behaviors and constantly vilifying me for my childhood “mistakes” was confusing. 

Confusing to my inner worthiness

My Mother’s Narcissistic traits were subtle. Subtle when you compare her to my father, who was a racist, vulgar, alcoholic. 

So, it was difficult for me—a child—to describe exactly why she was awful. Difficult to understand why my Mother, who society deems as a martyr, your best friend, your biggest support–disliked me. And the odd and confusing feeling of having nothing in common with your mother.

So what does a Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother do? She expresses her hurt, confusion, and lack of worthiness through her behaviors.


My 16th Birthday
My 16th Birthday pretending everything was Ok when it was not
Turning 16 feeling lost and confused


Teenage Years

My teenage years were one of rebellion, promiscuity, and illicit drug experimentation. My teenage rebellion was anything but subtle.

My behaviors screamed and spotlighted the abuse I was suffering. My lack of not giving a shit, invisibility, and no direction was a mirror to my homelife.

A mirror to my lack of worthiness

You see, when you are raised by a Narcissistic Mother you constantly question yourself, question your reality, question your judgement, question your truth, and most importantly—your worthiness.  

Below are examples of my Narcissistic Mother’s traits and abusive behaviors: 

  1. Selfish 
  2. Sibling Triangulation
  3. Gaslighting 
  4. No Boundaries
  5. Pitting me against my father
  6. Disrespectful
  7. Lies
  8. Love Bombing
  9. Disregard
  10. Secret Keeper (not)
  11. Manipulation
  12. Conditional Love
  13. Destroying my Reputation 
  14. Fantasy Land 
  15. Pretending to be Vulnerable 
  16. Gossiping 
  17. Purposely Provoking 
  18. Thriving off Chaos 
  19. Abandoning during crisis 
  20. Minimal Affection 

Check out my podcast episode discovering my mother is a narcissist.

My hope is for others to heal by hearing my story. You are not alone.

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast

Stay tuned for Part Two of my journey.

2022 black history month blackmentalhealth boundaries bullies burnout Childhood chronicpain chronic pain conversation coronavirus embrace evidence based family Father healing healthcare human design journey longcovid meditation Mental Health mindbodyconnection mother motherhood narcissist nursepractitioner nursing parenting Podcast polyvagaltheory psychology racism recovery relationships science selfcare selfhelp selflove Spirituality therapy trauma Universe vagusnerve worthiness

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mental health, podcast

episode 34: the polyvagal (How to Heal Chronic Pain with Dr. Les Aria, part ONE)

Picture of Christine and Dr. Les Aria
Christine and Les discussing the groundbreaking The Polyvagal Theory

It Always Seems Impossible…Until It’s Done

Nelson Mandela

Summary

Do you have Chronic Pain? Ready for Pain Recovery? This episode is for YOU!

We have a special guest today—Dr. Les Aria, a Pain Psychologist who specializes in helping people recover from chronic pain. Today, he’ll explain what polyvagal theory is and how it can help you feel safe when you’re dealing with chronic pain.

This week’s episode, Part One, on polyvagal theory and its application to chronic pain therapy. Polyvagal theory is the science of feeling safe, and it’s based on decades of research by Dr. Stephen Porges, who pioneered research into the autonomic nervous system and its relationship with emotions.

Check out Dr. Les Aria’s Pain Relief Apphttps://www.menda.health/

Topics Covered:

  • Healing Chronic Pain through the Vagus Nerve
  • Ways to stimulate your Vagus Nerve
  • Polyvagal Framework Ladder of Feeling Safe
  • Mind Body Connection
  • Trauma and Chronic Pain brain pathways
  • Autonomic Nervous System
  • Long Covid Symptoms
  • Shut Down Phase of Relapse connected to Trauma
  • Why slow breathing is key 
  • Wisdom of your Frontal Lobe
  • Safe and Sound Protocol

Connect with Dr. Les Aria:

Website: https://lesariaphd.com/

Youtube: Myndfulness here

Podcast–Dynamic Healing– here 

Safe and Sound Protocol here 

Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast:How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s podcast with her sisterThe Family Burrito


Big hugs to all the listeners! My little podcast to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world!

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

episode 37, part one: the gift (How Spirituality Plays a Positive Role in Mental Health Recovery with Dr. Jack Perkins) How Coronavirus Saved My Life

What is YOUR definition of Spirituality? In this episode (part one), Dr. Jack Perkins and I talk about the power of Spirituality. The power of finding meaning in our childhood suffering. Dr. Perkins tells his personal story of suffering first. His story of childhood suffering touched me deeply. I know it will touch you deeply as well.  My guest today is Dr. Jack Perkins. Jack is the founder of Psuche Education, Counseling & Coaching Services in Fort Gibson, Oklahoma. Jack is an ordained minister, conference speaker,  licensed counselor, certified life coach, and sexual addiction counselor. Spirituality has been a huge part of my inner & outer healing.  Spirituality has been a huge part of my Long-COVID healing. Spirituality has deepened my connection with my friends and family, and my connection with clients. Spirituality led me to discover my inner worthiness and love for myself I was never taught in childhood.  Evidence-based research shows integrating spirituality decreases anxiety and depression symptoms. Neuroscientific research shows the practice of mindfulness, the brain's cortex literally grows, with an increase in grey matter and more gyrification (Spencer, 2012).  https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com Connect with Christine:  Twitter | Instagram | website | Youtube | FB  Check out Christine's other podcast with her sister The Family Burrito Resources: Integrating Spirituality Into Recovery Requires Ethical Approach What is Spirituality? A Personal Exploration by Dr. Maya Spencer Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message
  1. episode 37, part one: the gift (How Spirituality Plays a Positive Role in Mental Health Recovery with Dr. Jack Perkins)
  2. episode 36: the story (Our Childhood Story Created By Broken People)
  3. episode 35: the recovery (Ways to Recover from Chronic Pain and Long COVID with Arun Nijhawan, PART TWO)
  4. episode 35: the recovery (Ways to Recover from Chronic Pain and Long COVID with Arun Nijhawan, PART ONE)
  5. episode 34: the polyvagal (How to Heal Chronic Pain with Dr. Les Aria, part TWO)
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mental health, mental health, nursing, podcast, podcast, self help

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast- episode 33: the boundary

Picture of the word "boundary" spelled out
Listen to episode 33 about boundaries. Boundaries = Self-Love

Summary

Were you taught it’s ok to say “No” in childhood? Were you taught it’s ok to speak up for your needs? Neither was I. 

Teaching myself how to set boundaries is a work in progress. My narcissistic mother crossing my boundary for the last time was my key to emotional freedom and authentic worthiness. 

In this solo episode, I cover all things boundaries. 

Rule of Thumb: Those who react the loudest when a boundary is set is evidence the boundary was needed in the first place (read this again).

Topics Covered: 

  • What is a boundary?
  • Why boundaries are important to your well-being
  • 4 types of boundaries 
  • Signs a boundary is crossed
  • How to set a boundary
  • My personal examples and emotional impact when I didn’t set boundaries

Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast:How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s podcast with her sisterThe Family Burrito

Big hugs to all the listeners! My little podcast to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world!

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Check out my blog about boundaries:

https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com/2022/07/20/6-reasons-why-its-important-to-set-boundaries/

2022 black history month blackmentalhealth boundaries bullies burnout Childhood chronicpain chronic pain conversation coronavirus embrace evidence based family Father healing healthcare human design journey longcovid meditation Mental Health mindbodyconnection mother motherhood narcissist nursepractitioner nursing parenting Podcast polyvagaltheory psychology racism recovery relationships science selfcare selfhelp selflove Spirituality therapy trauma Universe vagusnerve worthiness

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Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus

“That Makes Me Want To Cry”

Teaching Yourself How To Parent | episode 32 | the warrior

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast Cover
By: Christine Zethraus, PMHNP-BC

My friend Belinda choosing Mental Health as an additional career to help her community and culture is beautiful.

Check out podcast episode 32. We speak OUR truth about broken mothers impacting our parenting and worthiness.

Watch FULL Video Here

Listen to Full Episode Here

Youtube Short Below:

Christine and Belinda

A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer; its sings because it has a song.

Maya Angelou
Continue reading ““That Makes Me Want To Cry””
Burnout symptoms and contributing factors
mental health, nursing, podcast, self help

episode 26: the burnout

Summary

In this episode of How Coronavirus Saved My Life podcast, is my personal story of burnout as a nurse.

Burnout is real. Burnout is definitely real if you’re a healthcare worker. Then throw additional gasoline on burnout if you’re a nurse working in the pandemic. Double the gasoline if you’re a nurse working on a covid unit.

Listen to my journey of why I became a nurse, the life changing events of 2001 leading me to my calling, and the surprising person who always encouraged me to become a nurse.

Check out my Blog Post about Burnout

Topics:

  • Nurse Burnout
  • Why I choose nursing
  • The slow rollercoaster of burnout starting in nursing school
  • Baby nurses vs veteran nurses
  • Nurses eating their young
  • The ICU environment filled with stressful noises, constant fight or flight, emotional impact of telling family members their loved one died,
  • The acuity of an inpatient psychiatric unit
  • How long covid symptoms forced me to make myself a priority
  • Forgetting to put myself on the list

Mayoclinic.org Job Burnout Questions here.

Thank you to all my listeners! My little podcast I made to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world! Big hugs!

Christine’s Resources:

Please Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast: How Coronavirus Saved My Life

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast on Twitter

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast on Instagram

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Blog

Email me at: Christine@Howcoronavirussavedmylife.com

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Transcription

Nursing Burnout Cycle
mental health, mental health, nursing, podcast, self help

9 Common Burnout Symptoms of a Healthcare Worker

My Nursing Journey of Burnout in Healthcare

April 18, 2022 by Christine Zethraus, PMHNP-BC

How Working in Healthcare has Impacted my Emotional and Physical Well-being

My Burnout Beginning

Burnout is REAL. Burnout is definitely real if you’re a healthcare worker. Then throw additional gasoline on burnout if you’re a nurse working in the pandemic. Double it if you’re a nurse working the ICU.

Before I became a Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, I worked as an ICU nurse for 5 years in a Level I Trauma Center. What does a “Level I Trauma Center” mean? Level I Trauma Center means my patients had a variety of life-threatening critical injuries such as gunshot wounds, car wrecks, plane crashes, strokes, sepsis, etc. Think constant extreme stress (fight or flight).

I purposely choose to work in the ICU because I knew this intense training and experience would be beneficial for my planned advanced nursing school. Quite frankly I had no clue what I was getting myself into. Looking back, I’m actually grateful I was naïve about my new adventure because this was the beginning of my nurse burnout story. The beginning of my nursing burnout signs affecting my emotional and physical well-being.

Hint: I didn’t listen or see the burnout signs.

Burnout Symptoms
Burnout Symptoms

Pandemic Burnout

Fast forward 12 years later where I am now a Mental Health Nurse Practitioner working during the Covid-19 Pandemic dealing with a different kind of trauma. An emotional one. And I’m not just talking about my patients. My own personal emotional trauma of FEAR. Fear of getting covid, fear we are all going to die, fear I would need heart surgery because of my long covid symptoms, fear there would be no food on the shelves, fear my lung damage due to long-covid, fear my family would die, and fear the world was ending.

Fear was the dominate emotion during the pandemic

I made the assumption my healthcare professional burnout was because of working during the pandemic. Nope. My burnout started long before working in mental health during the pandemic. My burnout started in nursing school when I put everyone and everything else before my own well-being. My burnout started when I was not myself a priority.

I first noticed my burnout symptoms when I had Coronavirus then Long-Covid Symptoms in 2020. Having Long-Covid forced me to slow down, forced me to re-evaluate what’s important, forced me to make myself priority. I had no other choice because I was on a path to chronic illness, auto-immune disease and most likely early death.


Occupational Burnout
Occupational Burnout in Nursing
Continue reading “9 Common Burnout Symptoms of a Healthcare Worker”