My Journal Entry from 2006
mental health, podcast

episode 39: the gratitude (How My Journaling Practice Saved My Life)

My Journal Entry from 2006
The old broken me in 2006 writing in her journal (Dec 12, 2006)

Summary

This Episode is about JOURNALING and GRATITUDE – How Journaling has helped me understand myself. 

When you start your day by Writing 5 Things you are Grateful for, YOU start with Love for Yourself.

 Starting off with Gratitude releases Oxytocin, the Love Hormone, LOVE FOR YOURSELF. 

 Listen as I am shifting through my past journal entry from a 29-year-old me to a today me. 

Gratitude makes a difference. Journaling Changed My Life.  Journaling Has Made A Difference In How I View Myself. 

Journaling Practice has helped Me Heal Childhood Wounds & Trauma. 

The New Healing Me writing in her Journal
The New Healing Me Writing in her Journal (Dec 12, 2020)

Today’s MANTRA: 

I AM LIMITLESS

I AM POWERFUL

I CREATE BEAUTIFUL EXPERIENCES 

I AM FUCKING AMAZING

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Connect with Christine for Mental Health Discussions and Tools for Recovery:

https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com

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Check out Christine’s other podcast with her sister The Family Burrito

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Christine's alcoholic father
mental health, podcast

episode 38: the memory (How My Dad’s Alcoholism Impacted My Childhood Memories)

Christine's alcoholic father
The Memory of My Father Drinking Forever Stuck in my Mind (A 12-year old me beside him)

Summary

What do we do when a painful childhood memory comes up? Do we ignore the painful memory? Do we stuff the painful memory down with food, drugs, alcohol, sex, overworking, toxic relationships, starving ourselves, people pleasing, and saving others? What do we do if multiple painful childhood memories flood in at once? 

This episode was inspired by my client who didn’t want to remember her painful childhood. Little did I know a flood of childhood memories would happen after our encounter.  Memories of my father always using alcohol, drugs, weed, cigarettes, etc. Memories of him giving me alcohol when I was 3 years old. Memories of my father teaching me to cope with stress with any substance you can get your hands on–every single night. 

I recorded this episode as I was sifting through these memories. My goal is to help others shift through their painful memories as well. These memories are coming up for a reason. I am grateful for my painful memories coming to the surface because I NOW have the choice of what to do with them.  

Connect with Christine for Mental Health Discussions and Tools for Recovery:

https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com

 Twitter | Instagram | website | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s other podcast with her sister The Family Burrito

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Jack Perkins Profile Picture
mental health, podcast

episode 37, part two: the gift (How Spirituality Plays a Positive Role in Mental Health Recovery with Dr. Jack Perkins)

Jack Perkins Profile Picture
Dr. Jack Perkins

Summary

Welcome back to episode 37, part TWO! Dr. Perkins and I continue our conversation about the importance of Spirituality in Mental Health recovery. 

Jack Perkins is a licensed professional counselor and the founder of Psuche Education Counseling & Coaching Services. He has a heart to help others discover the secret to living a fulfilled life by integrating their spirituality into every area of their lives. He’s seen first hand how the integration of spirituality into healthcare is important in the recovery process.

Topics Discussed:

  • Why integrating spirituality into healthcare is important
  • Why people turned to prayer after Sept 11
  • Spirituality gives people hope and helps them cope with depression
  • Why Christine went into nursing
  • World Health Organization states spirituality is a pillar of healthcare
  • Low Percentage of doctors assessing spirituality with patients
  • Importance of spirituality assessment in healthcare
  • Providers need to assess their spiritual health first
  • Provider bias with patients’ religions and spiritual beliefs
  • Jack’s touching story of helping grieving parents whose baby just died

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Connect with Christine for Mental Health Discussions and Tools for Recovery:

https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com

 Twitter | Instagram | website | Youtube | FB 


Check out Christine’s other podcast with her sister The Family Burrito

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Jack Perkins Profile Picture
mental health, podcast

episode 37, part one: the gift (How Spirituality Plays a Positive Role in Mental Health Recovery with Dr. Jack Perkins)

Jack Perkins Profile Picture

Dr. Jack Perkins, Founder of Psuche Education, Counseling & Coaching Services in Fort Gibson, Oklahoma

Summary

What is YOUR definition of Spirituality?

In this episode (part one), Dr. Jack Perkins and I talk about the power of Spirituality. The power of finding meaning in our childhood suffering.

Dr. Perkins tells his personal story of suffering first. His story of childhood suffering touched me deeply. I know it will touch you deeply as well. 

My guest today is Dr. Jack Perkins. Jack is the founder of Psuche Education, Counseling & Coaching Services in Fort Gibson, Oklahoma. Jack is an ordained minister, conference speaker,  licensed counselor, certified life coach, and sexual addiction counselor.

Spirituality has been a huge part of my inner & outer healing. 

Spirituality has been a huge part of my Long-COVID healing. Spirituality has deepened my connection with my friends and family, and my connection with clients. Spirituality led me to discover my inner worthiness and love for myself I was never taught in childhood. 

Evidence-based research shows integrating spirituality decreases anxiety and depression symptoms. Neuroscientific research shows the practice of mindfulness, the brain’s cortex literally grows, with an increase in grey matter and more gyrification (Spencer, 2012). 

https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com

Connect with Christine:

 Twitter | Instagram | website | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s other podcast with her sister The Family Burrito

Resources:

Integrating Spirituality Into Recovery Requires Ethical Approach

What is Spirituality? A Personal Exploration by Dr. Maya Spencer

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

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mental health, podcast

episode 36: the story (Our Childhood Story Created By Broken People)

Listen to episode 36 below


Summary

What is your Story? What Story have you been telling yourself since childhood? What is the constant story running in your head?

Today’s episode is about My Story. The Story I’ve been telling myself since childhood. A story built by broken people AKA my Parents. 

The purpose of today’s episode is to help Empower You to create a new story.

I share techniques that work for me. You deserve to feel good in your story.

I first began observing my thoughts and emotions. “What am I feeling?”  Then ask yourself where does this feeling come from? Is it real? Is it based on fact? Is it based on a memory or an emotion from childhood? Is this a belief? What is the evidence that supports this belief? Are there any other points of view that might support this belief? What would someone who loves me say about this belief? Would they agree with me or disagree with me? What can I do today to support myself in making changes toward becoming healthier emotionally and spiritually? 

Listen to episode 36: the story for more healing techniques. 

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I dedicate this episode to my friend & fellow podcaster Willie Porter

Willie asked me a question no one ever asked me in childhood.

“When was the last time you took a break?” was the question. 

Thank you Willie for being a great friend & supporter. 

Check out Willie’s podcast he makes with his Wife 

Check out Willie Podcast Below:

Connect with Christine:

 Twitter | Instagram | website | Youtube | FB 


Check out Christine’s other podcast with her sister The Family Burrito



Resources: 

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza


Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast

Continue reading “episode 36: the story (Our Childhood Story Created By Broken People)”
Christine's High School Graduation picture
mental health, mental health, self help

What It’s Like Being Raised by a Narcissistic Mother: Part Two

Why Discovering my Inner Worthiness was Crucial to my Healing


What is a Narcissist?

A narcissist is someone who has a grandiose sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. Oftentimes they can be controlling, manipulative and demanding. They also lack conscience and guilt which makes it very easy for them to hurt others without feeling remorseful or guilty about what they have done or said to harm another person.

Now imagine this person is your Mother.

A picture of Christine with her father
(7TH GRADE) My Father picking me up from my Mom’s after she kicked me out of the house.

The Effects of a Narcissistic Mother

The effects of being raised by a narcissistic mother are profound.

Growing up with a narcissistic mother made it very difficult for me to trust anyone, especially men, I never knew if they would hurt me or not. I was constantly looking at every aspect of their behavior trying to determine if they were good or bad people so that way I could protect myself from further harm but this became exhausting after a while because there was no way I could.

Not to mention the constant need for external validation. 

A young Christine
A young me at the beginning of a life full of manipulation and gaslighting.

Abnormal Parenting

It wasn’t until years later that I realized this kind of parenting wasn’t normal; it wasn’t how other moms treated their kids.  It didn’t seem strange at the time because I had no point of reference; my mother was just “the way she was.”

But when you grow up with a narcissistic parent, it can be extremely confusing and painful — especially when you don’t even know that your parent has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).  

It took me years to realize that there was something wrong with this situation; it wasn’t just me making things up in my head or overreacting to things that weren’t really happening at all…it was My Narcissistic Mother. 

She is the person who will remind you of your mistakes and shortcomings every chance she gets. She will create stories that portray you as a terrible person, a burden on society, and a waste of space. She will make sure everyone knows you are a disappointment, especially if they have something she wants or needs from them.

Meet Your Narcissistic Mother

She has no empathy for others; in fact, she feels superior to most people in her life. She cannot feel remorse over anything she has done wrong or hurtful things she has said. She expects everyone to meet her high expectations without question, but never does anything herself because it is beneath her.

Your Narcissistic Mother does not like anything about you; everything that makes up who you are is wrong in her eyes.

Being raised by a narcissistic mother is a form of emotional abuse that can have a devastating effect on the child’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Narcissistic mothers are often very good at creating an illusion of being wonderful parents. They are often charming, charismatic and superficially seem to be loving and attentive. The reality is that they lack empathy for their children and only care about their own needs, feelings and desires. HELLO GUILT TRIPS!

Stay Tuned for Part Three of What It’s Like Being Raised by a Narcissistic Mother. *HINT: EXHAUSTING

I’ll provide examples galore of her subtle manipulation.

My hope is for others to heal by sharing my story. You deserve peace. You are worthy.



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mental health, mental health, nursing, podcast, podcast, self help

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast- episode 33: the boundary

Picture of the word "boundary" spelled out
Listen to episode 33 about boundaries. Boundaries = Self-Love

Summary

Were you taught it’s ok to say “No” in childhood? Were you taught it’s ok to speak up for your needs? Neither was I. 

Teaching myself how to set boundaries is a work in progress. My narcissistic mother crossing my boundary for the last time was my key to emotional freedom and authentic worthiness. 

In this solo episode, I cover all things boundaries. 

Rule of Thumb: Those who react the loudest when a boundary is set is evidence the boundary was needed in the first place (read this again).

Topics Covered: 

  • What is a boundary?
  • Why boundaries are important to your well-being
  • 4 types of boundaries 
  • Signs a boundary is crossed
  • How to set a boundary
  • My personal examples and emotional impact when I didn’t set boundaries

Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast:How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s podcast with her sisterThe Family Burrito

Big hugs to all the listeners! My little podcast to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world!

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Check out my blog about boundaries:

https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com/2022/07/20/6-reasons-why-its-important-to-set-boundaries/

2022 alcoholism black history month boundaries bullies burnout Childhood chronicpain chronic pain conversation coronavirus embrace evidence based family Father healing healthcare human design journal journey longcovid meditation Mental Health mindbodyconnection mother motherhood narcissist nursepractitioner nursing parenting Podcast polyvagaltheory psychology racism recovery science selfcare selfhelp selflove Spirituality therapy trauma Universe vagusnerve worthiness

how coronavirus saved my life podcast cover
Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus

“That Makes Me Want To Cry”

Teaching Yourself How To Parent | episode 32 | the warrior

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By: Christine Zethraus, PMHNP-BC

My friend Belinda choosing Mental Health as an additional career to help her community and culture is beautiful.

Check out podcast episode 32. We speak OUR truth about broken mothers impacting our parenting and worthiness.

Watch FULL Video Here

Listen to Full Episode Here

Youtube Short Below:

Christine and Belinda

A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer; its sings because it has a song.

Maya Angelou
Continue reading ““That Makes Me Want To Cry””
Picture of Christine and Belinda discussing motherhood
conversation, mental health, Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus, self help

“You Can’t Keep Blaming Me”

A REAL Mom to Mom Conversation about Being Raised by Broken Women

August 7, 2022 by Christine ZethrausPMHNP-BC

episode 32: the warrior

Watch the response of Belinda’s Mother after expressing how her Mother’s abandonment impacted her childhood. Belinda’s response back to her Mother’s disappointing reaction is not to be missed! Bravo Belinda!



Check Out My Other Blog Articles of Interest…

episode 39: the gratitude (How My Journaling Practice Saved My Life)

Summary This Episode is about JOURNALING and GRATITUDE – How Journaling has helped me understand myself.  When you start your day by Writing 5 Things you are Grateful for, YOU start with Love for Yourself.  Starting off with Gratitude releases Oxytocin, the Love Hormone, LOVE FOR YOURSELF.   Listen as I am shifting through my past…

black mental health, community, conversation, culture, mental health, mental health, nursing, podcast, self help, Society

The Revealing Reasons Why I Am Grateful My Dad Was A Racist 

Why Witnessing Injustice on a Daily Basis was Necessary for My Purpose and Calling

By: Christine Zethraus, PMHNP-BC

A picture of Christine with her father
Christine (7th grade) and Charlie (Dad).
He picked me up in Fort Worth, TX after my mother kicked me out.
I was on my way to Georgia to live with him for a year.

Boy oh Boy…what a year that was!

Growing Up….

Growing up and being raised partly by a loud, obnoxious, alcoholic, drug fueled, racist father was draining. I am a lover by nature so having a parent who was the extreme opposite of myself was challenging to say the least. My father and I were polar opposites in our approach to life. He was harsh, crass, vulgar, and forceful. I am pensive, reflective, laid back, and try to see things from many perspectives. 

I ask a lot of questions. I crave truth and seek the other side of the story. My father made a lot of assumptions about others. And built his stubborn house there. 

Beginning of My Gratitude for my Racist Father…

Now, don’t get me wrong. I can be loud, relentless, in your face, challenging, and forceful when it comes to unfair treatment of others. This is where my gratitude for my racist father begins. He taught me sometimes IT IS necessary to get loud when you are fighting for what you believe in. It is necessary to be vocally forceful. Sometimes your approach is needs to be challenging and drain others I suppose.

Unfortunately, I can also have these same qualities when I feel personally betrayed in romantic relationships…ugh.

That story for another time. (hint: daddy issues)

Hearing the N-Word was Essential in my Childhood…

Hearing my Father say the N-Word constantly was absolutely necessary to my upbringing. Watching my father scream racist remarks to folks minding their own business driving by was imperative. Observing violence and constantly feeling fear in my Father’s presence was essential to my childhood. Being afraid of the person, parent, father figure, family member who looked like me was fundamental. 

My Purpose in this Life…

Why in the world would I ever say such a thing? Why would I say my Father’s violent behaviors and racist mindset were an essential part of my childhood? 

Because………

I would never have cared about any other issues outside of my own race, culture, economic status, education, and upbringing had I not experienced my racist Father’s wrath of misguided hate towards others. Along with his misguided hate towards me at times. Being front lines to daily injustice shaped who I am. Shaped my mission in this world.

I had to physically feel injustice. I had to emotionally feel injustice. I had to intellectually feel injustice. I had to encompass the enormity of all sides of to care, ask questions, reflect about the Injustices of different races, cultures, economic statuses, education and healthcare disparities. I HAD to experience, witness, feel the hate and fear of it all in order for ME to see the multiple sides of the injustice coin. 

And now……

I find solutions by seeking other’s truth, ask questions, and do my best to see it all from many perspectives.  

Check out my youtube Channel Below:

Healing Cycles of Abuse | Episode 31 | the adversity

Thank you to all my listeners, readers who are making the bold decision to heal! Healing truly is a choice. A choice you deserve.

The other side of that mountain of fear is waiting for your authentic self & your authentic happiness you are so worthy of.

-Christine Zethraus, Mental Health NP