Dr. Jack Perkins, Founder of Psuche Education, Counseling & Coaching Services in Fort Gibson, Oklahoma
What is YOUR definition of Spirituality?
In this episode (part one), Dr. Jack Perkins and I talk about the power of Spirituality. The power of finding meaning in our childhood suffering.
Dr. Perkins tells his personal story of suffering first. His story of childhood suffering touched me deeply. I know it will touch you deeply as well.
My guest today is Dr. Jack Perkins. Jack is the founder of Psuche Education, Counseling & Coaching Services in Fort Gibson, Oklahoma. Jack is an ordained minister, conference speaker, licensed counselor, certified life coach, and sexual addiction counselor.
Spirituality has been a huge part of my inner & outer healing.
Spirituality has been a huge part of my Long-COVID healing. Spirituality has deepened my connection with my friends and family, and my connection with clients. Spirituality led me to discover my inner worthiness and love for myself I was never taught in childhood.
Evidence-based research shows integrating spirituality decreases anxiety and depression symptoms. Neuroscientific research shows the practice of mindfulness, the brain’s cortex literally grows, with an increase in grey matter and more gyrification (Spencer, 2012).
Society tells us that Mothers are kind, supportive, and your biggest cheerleader. Society tells us Mothers are warm, make chocolate chip cookies, listen without judgment, and push you to be your best.
My mother was the exact opposite.
Society tells us Narcissists are men who drive Corvettes, born with a silver spoon, arrogant and void of emotions. Society never mentions women as Narcissists. Society certainly never mentions Mothers—”your biggest cheerleader”—-as Narcissists.
I am a Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. I diagnose and treat people with Psychiatric Disorders. I diagnose personality disorders as well. I have been in the profession of Mental Health for over 15 years.
I am considered a Mental Health “expert”.
Even I did not know my Mother had Severe Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Being a child raised by a Mother who was abusive, jealous, in competition with me, who punished me emotionally for questioning her behaviors and constantly vilifying me for my childhood “mistakes” was confusing.
Confusing to my inner worthiness.
My Mother’s Narcissistic traits were subtle. Subtle when you compare her to my father, who was a racist, vulgar, alcoholic.
So, it was difficult for me—a child—to describe exactly why she was awful. Difficult to understand why my Mother, who society deems as a martyr, your best friend, your biggest support–disliked me. And the odd and confusing feeling of having nothing in common with your mother.
So what does a Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother do? She expresses her hurt, confusion, and lack of worthiness through her behaviors.
My teenage years were one of rebellion, promiscuity, and illicit drug experimentation. My teenage rebellion was anything but subtle.
My behaviors screamed and spotlighted the abuse I was suffering. My lack of not giving a shit, invisibility, and no direction was a mirror to my homelife.
A mirror to my lack of worthiness.
You see, when you are raised by a Narcissistic Mother you constantly question yourself, question your reality, question your judgement, question your truth, and most importantly—your worthiness.
Below are examples of my Narcissistic Mother’s traits and abusive behaviors:
Pitting me against my father
Secret Keeper (not)
Destroying my Reputation
Pretending to be Vulnerable
Thriving off Chaos
Abandoning during crisis
Check out my podcast episode discovering my mother is a narcissist.
My hope is for others to heal by hearing my story. You are not alone.
Watch the response of Belinda’s Mother after expressing how her Mother’s abandonment impacted her childhood. Belinda’s response back to her Mother’s disappointing reaction is not to be missed! Bravo Belinda!
How do you teach yourself to parent when you were raised by a broken emotionally immature mother? Then throw in society’s illusion of motherhood where it is expected mothers are born nurturers who saves everyone with a unrealistic superwomen mentality. What happens to your self-esteem when your mother was none of these misguided societal illusions? (hint: unworthiness)
In this episode I speak with Belinda Tyner, an Adult Geriatric Nurse Practitioner about her journey of becoming a warrior while teaching herself how to parent through the challenges of raising a child with ADHD.
The illusions of motherhood
Teaching yourself how to parent
Meeting your child’s needs where their at
Conditioning of the Superwoman Syndrome
Asking yourself “what do I need?”
Being raised by parents in survival mode
Importance of praising a child with ADHD during the good moments
What does the word adversity mean to you? Chris Allen is the definition of overcoming adversity.
A powerful follow up conversation with my new friend Chris Allen. His honesty, vulnerability, transparency, and directness about his difficult childhood filled with abuse and chaos inspires me to be more vulnerable and transparent about my own story.
Chris and I tell discuss losing our virginity at a young age, Chris’s former approach to sex and intimacy before meeting his beautiful wife, and his father’s suspicious suicide. And the weird thing Chris and I have in common! Find out the ONE question Chris COULD NOT answer at the end.
This episode left me speechless. It is not often I meet someone who’s childhood has similarities to mine. Much less someone who is as direct and transparent about the value of having a traumatic childhood , how reframing our conditioned perspective of our painful past is where your power lies and shows our true purpose.
My honest no-holds-barred conversation with Chris Allen, CEO & Co-Founder of Advanced Computing and Technology, Athlete, Father, Husband, former prisoner turned Advocate, about his Journey of Reframing Conditioned Views of Male Strength is a game changer. How beautiful for two people who barely know one another to instantly trust & feel safe in sharing their dysfunctional childhood resulting in seeking love in toxic relationships, multiple sex partners, and choices altering our destiny forever.
Society tells us that men should be “strong”, the head of the family, the one that we can lean on, the one who has all the answers, the one who won’t hurt you, the one who will rescue you. Then women, such as myself, become disappointed when men do not live up to this misguided societal conditioning.
The purpose of today’s episode is to start reframing our misguided conditioned beliefs about male strength.
Thank You Chris Allen for trusting the listeners with your story. Thank you for being honest about your own mistakes you made in past relationships. Thank you Chris for being vulnerable. You are a role model in male vulnerability.
Chris Allen is a role model in Male Vulnerability. Male Vulnerability is the VERY definition of Male Strength.
Hello. My name is Christine. I am a recovering codependent, procrastinator, perfectionist, avoidance queen who would never ask for help in a million years. Much less reach out to a popular blogger and author to record a podcast episode about bullying . (hint: she’s a fierce advocate for bullied children and teens).
Now…why oh why, you might ask, would I have issues asking for help? Shall we start with childhood? You know what? Let’s not.
Asking for help is still a work in progress but my new jam is asking people I admire to come on my podcast. Superstars I admire, like Cherie White, who have overcame adversity and are now screaming their story from the mountaintops of Tennessee. All while knowing the real potential physical threat of telling her story is bravery at it’s finest. And this is where I swoon!
“Exposing Bullies and Liberating Targets to Make The World a Safer Place for All” is Cherie’s purpose on this planet. Her soul’s calling. Her mission to humanity. How ironic she had to be the ONE severely bullied for 6 years in childhood.
Wait till you hear how she finally left that horrible school for a new school. A shiny, brighter school where she was seen for the angel she is. Astonishing how your grades dramatically go up when bullies aren’t abusing your teenage self any longer.
Thank you Cherie for being a voice for others. Thank you for making the world a better place for children and teens.
Coach Marielle Honse and I continue our conversation about my favorite topic —Human Design.
Before listening and downloading this episode….
Listen and download my previous episode– episode 21: the design —if you haven’t already. Marielle and I start with the basics of human design, what human design is, and how each person has a unique human design.
Highly recommend Marielle’s one on one 8 week Human Design Coaching or a personal Human Design reading. It’s a game changer! For real!
Melissa Llarena and I have a powerful conversation about her childhood. Quite frankly, I am still wrapping my mind around what it was like for Melissa as a little girl being raised by a Mother who has Bipolar Disorder. Melissa eloquently paints the picture of herself as a little girl who’s mother was frequently hospitalized, off her meds, manic, grandiose, and unstable. A little girl who was shuffled around, raising herself, constant chaos, and a foundation created with uncertainty and danger. I am honored Melissa Llarena trusted my listeners and myself for giving her a safe space to speak her childhood truth.
I am so proud of you for the bravery of sharing your story. This IS YOUR Geraldo Rivera moment. Little Melissa is worthy of feeling safe in her/your truth. You inspire me in unimaginable ways! Thank you. I am humbled. Keeping speaking YOUR truth. You deserve it…. and so does the world. Go Cycle
Melissa Llarena’s Bio:
Melissa is a business mentor, career coach, Forbes contributor, and greatest cheerleader to fellow mompreneurs. She is the creator and host of ``An Interview with Melissa Llarena”which is a podcast for super curious humans who desire to learn from humans who courageously and creatively went after their curiosities, and made an impact, so they can too.