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The Revealing Reasons Why I Am Grateful My Dad Was A Racist 

Why Witnessing Injustice on a Daily Basis was Necessary for My Purpose and Calling

By: Christine Zethraus, PMHNP-BC

A picture of Christine with her father
Christine (7th grade) and Charlie (Dad).
He picked me up in Fort Worth, TX after my mother kicked me out.
I was on my way to Georgia to live with him for a year.

Boy oh Boy…what a year that was!

Growing Up….

Growing up and being raised partly by a loud, obnoxious, alcoholic, drug fueled, racist father was draining. I am a lover by nature so having a parent who was the extreme opposite of myself was challenging to say the least. My father and I were polar opposites in our approach to life. He was harsh, crass, vulgar, and forceful. I am pensive, reflective, laid back, and try to see things from many perspectives. 

I ask a lot of questions. I crave truth and seek the other side of the story. My father made a lot of assumptions about others. And built his stubborn house there. 

Beginning of My Gratitude for my Racist Father…

Now, don’t get me wrong. I can be loud, relentless, in your face, challenging, and forceful when it comes to unfair treatment of others. This is where my gratitude for my racist father begins. He taught me sometimes IT IS necessary to get loud when you are fighting for what you believe in. It is necessary to be vocally forceful. Sometimes your approach is needs to be challenging and drain others I suppose.

Unfortunately, I can also have these same qualities when I feel personally betrayed in romantic relationships…ugh.

That story for another time. (hint: daddy issues)

Hearing the N-Word was Essential in my Childhood…

Hearing my Father say the N-Word constantly was absolutely necessary to my upbringing. Watching my father scream racist remarks to folks minding their own business driving by was imperative. Observing violence and constantly feeling fear in my Father’s presence was essential to my childhood. Being afraid of the person, parent, father figure, family member who looked like me was fundamental. 

My Purpose in this Life…

Why in the world would I ever say such a thing? Why would I say my Father’s violent behaviors and racist mindset were an essential part of my childhood? 

Because………

I would never have cared about any other issues outside of my own race, culture, economic status, education, and upbringing had I not experienced my racist Father’s wrath of misguided hate towards others. Along with his misguided hate towards me at times. Being front lines to daily injustice shaped who I am. Shaped my mission in this world.

I had to physically feel injustice. I had to emotionally feel injustice. I had to intellectually feel injustice. I had to encompass the enormity of all sides of to care, ask questions, reflect about the Injustices of different races, cultures, economic statuses, education and healthcare disparities. I HAD to experience, witness, feel the hate and fear of it all in order for ME to see the multiple sides of the injustice coin. 

And now……

I find solutions by seeking other’s truth, ask questions, and do my best to see it all from many perspectives.  

Check out my youtube Channel Below:

Healing Cycles of Abuse | Episode 31 | the adversity

Thank you to all my listeners, readers who are making the bold decision to heal! Healing truly is a choice. A choice you deserve.

The other side of that mountain of fear is waiting for your authentic self & your authentic happiness you are so worthy of.

-Christine Zethraus, Mental Health NP
mental health, podcast

6 Reasons Why It’s Important To Set Boundaries

Why it’s Important to Your Mental Well-Being

What is a Boundary?

A boundary is direct communication about what YOU need, what YOUR limits are, what your willing to do or not do, tells the other what you’re thinking or feeling, provides space between yourself and the other, and gives clear expectations.

We think people can read our minds. We think people should know how we are feeling or what we are thinking. We think people should know when we need help. We think people should know that thing they did was wrong. We think people should know when they hurt our feelings.

They don’t. Most of the time they are unaware. Or they feel so guilty they don’t want to face it.

Boundaries create safety for everyone involved. Boundaries are love for yourself. Boundaries are love for the other.

graphic showing importance of self love
Boundaries are Important for Self Love

Below are 6 Reasons Why it’s Important to Set Boundaries:

  1. Protects your emotional and physical energy: You can’t give to others if you haven’t given to yourself first, otherwise, it’s called judgement. Boundaries protects your precious emotional and physical energy. You then help from a place of love when you put yourself first before helping others.
  2. Avoids Future Conflicts and Resentment: Being direct with a simple statement about what you need or what your boundary is, helps the other person on the receiving end. Supports healthy communication.
  3. Allows you to define your emotional and physical space: This is a BIG one for me. I need lots of alone time. I need lots of space after working a full day in a mental health setting. I need quiet with little interruption. Everyone deserves peace. Telling others you need time alone is SUPER important to your well-being.
  4. Makes your Relationships Last Longer: Setting boundaries creates space for deeper connection. Boundaries tell your partner what you need instead of a guessing miscommunication game.
  5. Allows you to Practice Self-Respect: Most of us were not taught to set boundaries in childhood. Most of us were not taught it’s ok to say NO. Most of us were raised by broken or emotionally immature people. Boundaries tells our brain we are safe. Our brain needs this because it thinks we still need protection from childhood.
  6. Enables you to set reasonable consequences for violating your space: YOU define your own consequence. NO ONE gets a say so on the importance of your space. Not your mother. Not your father. Not your partner. Not your child. And certainly not society or your religious upbringing.
Infographic on why it's important to set boundaries
6 Reasons Why Boundaries Are Important

Reminder: Those who react the loudest to the boundary, is reinforcement the boundary was needed in the first place.


Check out my latest podcast episode where Belinda and I discuss importance of boundaries in toxic families:

Picture of Christine and Sofia
conversation

episode 32: the warrior (Teaching Yourself How to Parent with Belinda Tyner)

Picture of Christine and Sofia
Daughter Sofia and I figuring out this parent thing together

Summary

How do you teach yourself to parent when you were raised by a broken emotionally immature mother? Then throw in society’s illusion of motherhood where it is expected mothers are born nurturers who saves everyone with a unrealistic superwomen mentality. What happens to your self-esteem when your mother was none of these misguided societal illusions?  (hint: unworthiness)

In this episode I speak with Belinda Tyner, an Adult Geriatric Nurse Practitioner about her journey of becoming a warrior while teaching herself how to parent through the challenges of raising a child with ADHD. 

Topics Discussed

  • The illusions of motherhood
  • Teaching yourself how to parent 
  • Meeting your child’s needs where their at
  • Conditioning of the Superwoman Syndrome
  • Asking yourself “what do I need?”
  • Being raised by parents in survival mode
  • Importance of praising a child with ADHD during the good moments
  • Importance of ADHD diagnosis ASAP
  • Being tired of doing it all

ADHD and Parenting Resources: 

The Whole Brain Child BookLD@school National Institute of Mental Health

Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast:How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s podcast with her sisterThe Family Burrito

Big hugs to all the listeners! My little podcast to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world!

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Transcription

Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus

episode 27: the bully (Conversation with Advocate for Bullied Children, Author and Blogger Cherie White) — How Corona Virus Saved My Life Podcast

This week I had a conversation with my new friend, blogger and author Cherie White, who is an Advocate for Bullied Children and Teenagers.

Cherie’s personal childhood story of being bullied for 6 years after moving to a small town in Tennessee is heartbreakingly powerful. From a slow progression to constant violence. Her mission now is “Exposing Bullies and Liberating Targets to Make The World a Safer Place for All“.

I learned so much about the intimation tactics of bullies. The non-verbal communication tactics of bullies blew my mind! Taking her power back has led to her mission and purpose. Just WOW!

Follow and connect with Cherie’s BLOG | https://cheriewhite.blog/

Cherie’s Books | From Victim to Victor Memoir | Townies, Cronies and Hayseeds | Kids Under the Latch Key | The Vow of Chastity Baker

Cherie’s Topics Discussed: 

Thank you to all my listeners! My little podcast I made to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world! Big hugs!

Christine’s Resources:

Please Share Christine’s Podcast: How Coronavirus Saved My Life 

Connect with Christine on Twitter| Instagram|

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Youtube 

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast

Picture of Cherie White
Cherie White, Advocate for Bullied Children, Author, & Blogger

Check out Cherie’s AMAZING Blog!

Cherie White’s Blog

2022 black history month blackmentalhealth boundaries bullies burnout Childhood chronicpain chronic pain conversation coronavirus embrace evidence based family Father healing healthcare human design journey longcovid meditation Mental Health mindbodyconnection mother motherhood narcissist nursepractitioner nursing parenting Podcast polyvagaltheory psychology racism recovery relationships science selfcare selfhelp selflove Spirituality therapy trauma Universe vagusnerve worthiness

Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus

Sharing your Adversities = Power

People who share their story of
overcoming adversity is my jam.

Why?

Because shame no longer has power.
Fear of judgement no longer has power.
Apologizing for your truth no longer has power.
The illusions of your childhood conditioning no longer
has power.

Are you ready to step into YOUR POWER?

episode 31: the adversity

Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus

episode 2: the crumble

My former husband, my prom date
My prom date, my former husband

Summary

Coming out of quarantine only to realize my marriage was over. One of the most devastating parts of my journey.  

Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast:How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s podcast with her sisterThe Family Burrito

Big hugs to all the listeners! My little podcast to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world!

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Transcription