Christine's High School Graduation picture
mental health, mental health, self help

What It’s Like Being Raised by a Narcissistic Mother: Part Two

Why Discovering my Inner Worthiness was Crucial to my Healing


What is a Narcissist?

A narcissist is someone who has a grandiose sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. Oftentimes they can be controlling, manipulative and demanding. They also lack conscience and guilt which makes it very easy for them to hurt others without feeling remorseful or guilty about what they have done or said to harm another person.

Now imagine this person is your Mother.

A picture of Christine with her father
(7TH GRADE) My Father picking me up from my Mom’s after she kicked me out of the house.

The Effects of a Narcissistic Mother

The effects of being raised by a narcissistic mother are profound.

Growing up with a narcissistic mother made it very difficult for me to trust anyone, especially men, I never knew if they would hurt me or not. I was constantly looking at every aspect of their behavior trying to determine if they were good or bad people so that way I could protect myself from further harm but this became exhausting after a while because there was no way I could.

Not to mention the constant need for external validation. 

A young Christine
A young me at the beginning of a life full of manipulation and gaslighting.

Abnormal Parenting

It wasn’t until years later that I realized this kind of parenting wasn’t normal; it wasn’t how other moms treated their kids.  It didn’t seem strange at the time because I had no point of reference; my mother was just “the way she was.”

But when you grow up with a narcissistic parent, it can be extremely confusing and painful — especially when you don’t even know that your parent has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).  

It took me years to realize that there was something wrong with this situation; it wasn’t just me making things up in my head or overreacting to things that weren’t really happening at all…it was My Narcissistic Mother. 

She is the person who will remind you of your mistakes and shortcomings every chance she gets. She will create stories that portray you as a terrible person, a burden on society, and a waste of space. She will make sure everyone knows you are a disappointment, especially if they have something she wants or needs from them.

Meet Your Narcissistic Mother

She has no empathy for others; in fact, she feels superior to most people in her life. She cannot feel remorse over anything she has done wrong or hurtful things she has said. She expects everyone to meet her high expectations without question, but never does anything herself because it is beneath her.

Your Narcissistic Mother does not like anything about you; everything that makes up who you are is wrong in her eyes.

Being raised by a narcissistic mother is a form of emotional abuse that can have a devastating effect on the child’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Narcissistic mothers are often very good at creating an illusion of being wonderful parents. They are often charming, charismatic and superficially seem to be loving and attentive. The reality is that they lack empathy for their children and only care about their own needs, feelings and desires. HELLO GUILT TRIPS!

Stay Tuned for Part Three of What It’s Like Being Raised by a Narcissistic Mother. *HINT: EXHAUSTING

I’ll provide examples galore of her subtle manipulation.

My hope is for others to heal by sharing my story. You deserve peace. You are worthy.



How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast Cover
mental health, Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus, self help

Why I started this Podcast…

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast is My Love Letter to Humanity, and Much More.


Thank You Everyone for Listening

2022 black history month blackmentalhealth boundaries bullies burnout Childhood chronicpain chronic pain conversation coronavirus embrace evidence based family Father healing healthcare human design journey longcovid meditation Mental Health mindbodyconnection mother motherhood narcissist nursepractitioner nursing parenting Podcast polyvagaltheory psychology racism recovery relationships science selfcare selfhelp selflove Spirituality therapy trauma Universe vagusnerve worthiness

podcast

How to Heal Chronic Pain with Dr. Les Aria, (part TWO), episode 34

Watch Episode 34 on my Youtube Channel

Summary

Do you have Chronic Pain? Ready for Pain Recovery? This episode is for YOU!

We have a special guest today—Dr. Les Aria, a Pain Psychologist & Co-founder of Menda.Health, who specializes in helping people recover from chronic pain. Today, he’ll explain what polyvagal theory is and how it can help you feel safe when you’re dealing with chronic pain.

This week’s episode, Part TWO, on polyvagal theory and its application to chronic pain therapy. Polyvagal theory is the science of feeling safe, and it’s based on decades of research by Dr. Stephen Porges, who pioneered research into the autonomic nervous system and its relationship with emotions.

Watch our episode on Youtube: https://youtu.be/jucIIsQkvig

Check out Dr. Les Aria’s Pain Recovery Apphttps://www.menda.health/

Topics Covered:

  • The only question you brain is trying to answer
  • 3 worlds our body & brain responds to
  • Easy ways to recognize nervous system dysregulation
  • 90 seconds to correct your emotional experience  
  • Why intense attraction can’t be trusted
  • Why we are attracted to people who dysregulate our nervous system 
  • Our brain is reacting to past while in the present
  • What we need to experience to believe we can heal ourself 
  • Practice is the drive changer of your nervous system 
  • Co-regulation 

Connect with Dr. Les Aria: 

Website: https://lesariaphd.com/| Youtube: Myndfulness here| Dynamic Healing Podcast |Instagram @drlesaria

Connect with Christine: 

 Twitter | Instagram | website | Youtube | FB 

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

mental health

What It’s Like Being Raised by a Narcissistic Mother: Part One

Why Discovering my Inner Worthiness was Crucial to my Healing


Society’s Mother Conditioning

Society tells us that Mothers are kind, supportive, and your biggest cheerleader. Society tells us Mothers are warm, make chocolate chip cookies, listen without judgment, and push you to be your best. 

My mother was the exact opposite. 

Society tells us Narcissists are men who drive Corvettes, born with a silver spoon, arrogant and void of emotions. Society never mentions women as Narcissists. Society certainly never mentions Mothers—”your biggest cheerleader”—-as Narcissists.

I am a Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. I diagnose and treat people with Psychiatric Disorders. I diagnose personality disorders as well. I have been in the profession of Mental Health for over 15 years. 

I am considered a Mental Health “expert”.

Even I did not know my Mother had Severe Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Childhood Confusion

Being a child raised by a Mother who was abusive, jealous, in competition with me, who punished me emotionally for questioning her behaviors and constantly vilifying me for my childhood “mistakes” was confusing. 

Confusing to my inner worthiness

My Mother’s Narcissistic traits were subtle. Subtle when you compare her to my father, who was a racist, vulgar, alcoholic. 

So, it was difficult for me—a child—to describe exactly why she was awful. Difficult to understand why my Mother, who society deems as a martyr, your best friend, your biggest support–disliked me. And the odd and confusing feeling of having nothing in common with your mother.

So what does a Daughter of a Narcissistic Mother do? She expresses her hurt, confusion, and lack of worthiness through her behaviors.


My 16th Birthday
My 16th Birthday pretending everything was Ok when it was not
Turning 16 feeling lost and confused


Teenage Years

My teenage years were one of rebellion, promiscuity, and illicit drug experimentation. My teenage rebellion was anything but subtle.

My behaviors screamed and spotlighted the abuse I was suffering. My lack of not giving a shit, invisibility, and no direction was a mirror to my homelife.

A mirror to my lack of worthiness

You see, when you are raised by a Narcissistic Mother you constantly question yourself, question your reality, question your judgement, question your truth, and most importantly—your worthiness.  

Below are examples of my Narcissistic Mother’s traits and abusive behaviors: 

  1. Selfish 
  2. Sibling Triangulation
  3. Gaslighting 
  4. No Boundaries
  5. Pitting me against my father
  6. Disrespectful
  7. Lies
  8. Love Bombing
  9. Disregard
  10. Secret Keeper (not)
  11. Manipulation
  12. Conditional Love
  13. Destroying my Reputation 
  14. Fantasy Land 
  15. Pretending to be Vulnerable 
  16. Gossiping 
  17. Purposely Provoking 
  18. Thriving off Chaos 
  19. Abandoning during crisis 
  20. Minimal Affection 

Check out my podcast episode discovering my mother is a narcissist.

My hope is for others to heal by hearing my story. You are not alone.

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast

Stay tuned for Part Two of my journey.

2022 black history month blackmentalhealth boundaries bullies burnout Childhood chronicpain chronic pain conversation coronavirus embrace evidence based family Father healing healthcare human design journey longcovid meditation Mental Health mindbodyconnection mother motherhood narcissist nursepractitioner nursing parenting Podcast polyvagaltheory psychology racism recovery relationships science selfcare selfhelp selflove Spirituality therapy trauma Universe vagusnerve worthiness

Dr. Les Aria
mental health, podcast

episode 34: the polyvagal (How to Heal Chronic Pain with Dr. Les Aria, part TWO)

Dr. Les Aria

Summary

Do you have Chronic Pain? Ready for Pain Recovery? This episode is for YOU!

We have a special guest today—Dr. Les Aria, a Pain Psychologist & Co-founder of Menda.Health, who specializes in helping people recover from chronic pain. Today, he’ll explain what polyvagal theory is and how it can help you feel safe when you’re dealing with chronic pain.

This week’s episode, Part TWO, on polyvagal theory and its application to chronic pain therapy. Polyvagal theory is the science of feeling safe, and it’s based on decades of research by Dr. Stephen Porges, who pioneered research into the autonomic nervous system and its relationship with emotions.

Check out Dr. Les Aria’s Pain Recovery Apphttps://www.menda.health/

Topics Covered:

  • The only question you brain is trying to answer
  • 3 worlds our body & brain responds to
  • Easy ways to recognize nervous system dysregulation
  • 90 seconds to correct your emotional experience  
  • Why intense attraction can’t be trusted
  • Why we are attracted to people who dysregulate our nervous system 
  • Our brain is reacting to past while in the present
  • What we need to experience to believe we can heal ourself 
  • Practice is the drive changer of your nervous system 
  • Co-regulation 

Connect with Dr. Les Aria: 

Website: https://lesariaphd.com/| Youtube: Myndfulness here| Dynamic Healing Podcast |Instagram @drlesaria

Connect with Christine: 

 Twitter | Instagram | website | Youtube | FB 

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Picture of Christine and Dr. Les Aria
mental health, podcast

episode 34: the polyvagal (How to Heal Chronic Pain with Dr. Les Aria, part ONE)

Picture of Christine and Dr. Les Aria
Christine and Les discussing the groundbreaking The Polyvagal Theory

It Always Seems Impossible…Until It’s Done

Nelson Mandela

Summary

Do you have Chronic Pain? Ready for Pain Recovery? This episode is for YOU!

We have a special guest today—Dr. Les Aria, a Pain Psychologist who specializes in helping people recover from chronic pain. Today, he’ll explain what polyvagal theory is and how it can help you feel safe when you’re dealing with chronic pain.

This week’s episode, Part One, on polyvagal theory and its application to chronic pain therapy. Polyvagal theory is the science of feeling safe, and it’s based on decades of research by Dr. Stephen Porges, who pioneered research into the autonomic nervous system and its relationship with emotions.

Check out Dr. Les Aria’s Pain Relief Apphttps://www.menda.health/

Topics Covered:

  • Healing Chronic Pain through the Vagus Nerve
  • Ways to stimulate your Vagus Nerve
  • Polyvagal Framework Ladder of Feeling Safe
  • Mind Body Connection
  • Trauma and Chronic Pain brain pathways
  • Autonomic Nervous System
  • Long Covid Symptoms
  • Shut Down Phase of Relapse connected to Trauma
  • Why slow breathing is key 
  • Wisdom of your Frontal Lobe
  • Safe and Sound Protocol

Connect with Dr. Les Aria:

Website: https://lesariaphd.com/

Youtube: Myndfulness here

Podcast–Dynamic Healing– here 

Safe and Sound Protocol here 

Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast:How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s podcast with her sisterThe Family Burrito


Big hugs to all the listeners! My little podcast to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world!

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

episode 37, part one: the gift (How Spirituality Plays a Positive Role in Mental Health Recovery with Dr. Jack Perkins) How Coronavirus Saved My Life

What is YOUR definition of Spirituality? In this episode (part one), Dr. Jack Perkins and I talk about the power of Spirituality. The power of finding meaning in our childhood suffering. Dr. Perkins tells his personal story of suffering first. His story of childhood suffering touched me deeply. I know it will touch you deeply as well.  My guest today is Dr. Jack Perkins. Jack is the founder of Psuche Education, Counseling & Coaching Services in Fort Gibson, Oklahoma. Jack is an ordained minister, conference speaker,  licensed counselor, certified life coach, and sexual addiction counselor. Spirituality has been a huge part of my inner & outer healing.  Spirituality has been a huge part of my Long-COVID healing. Spirituality has deepened my connection with my friends and family, and my connection with clients. Spirituality led me to discover my inner worthiness and love for myself I was never taught in childhood.  Evidence-based research shows integrating spirituality decreases anxiety and depression symptoms. Neuroscientific research shows the practice of mindfulness, the brain's cortex literally grows, with an increase in grey matter and more gyrification (Spencer, 2012).  https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com Connect with Christine:  Twitter | Instagram | website | Youtube | FB  Check out Christine's other podcast with her sister The Family Burrito Resources: Integrating Spirituality Into Recovery Requires Ethical Approach What is Spirituality? A Personal Exploration by Dr. Maya Spencer Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message
  1. episode 37, part one: the gift (How Spirituality Plays a Positive Role in Mental Health Recovery with Dr. Jack Perkins)
  2. episode 36: the story (Our Childhood Story Created By Broken People)
  3. episode 35: the recovery (Ways to Recover from Chronic Pain and Long COVID with Arun Nijhawan, PART TWO)
  4. episode 35: the recovery (Ways to Recover from Chronic Pain and Long COVID with Arun Nijhawan, PART ONE)
  5. episode 34: the polyvagal (How to Heal Chronic Pain with Dr. Les Aria, part TWO)