black mental health, community, conversation, culture, mental health, mental health, nursing, podcast, self help, Society

The Revealing Reasons Why I Am Grateful My Dad Was A Racist 

Why Witnessing Injustice on a Daily Basis was Necessary for My Purpose and Calling

By: Christine Zethraus, PMHNP-BC

A picture of Christine with her father
Christine (7th grade) and Charlie (Dad).
He picked me up in Fort Worth, TX after my mother kicked me out.
I was on my way to Georgia to live with him for a year.

Boy oh Boy…what a year that was!

Growing Up….

Growing up and being raised partly by a loud, obnoxious, alcoholic, drug fueled, racist father was draining. I am a lover by nature so having a parent who was the extreme opposite of myself was challenging to say the least. My father and I were polar opposites in our approach to life. He was harsh, crass, vulgar, and forceful. I am pensive, reflective, laid back, and try to see things from many perspectives. 

I ask a lot of questions. I crave truth and seek the other side of the story. My father made a lot of assumptions about others. And built his stubborn house there. 

Beginning of My Gratitude for my Racist Father…

Now, don’t get me wrong. I can be loud, relentless, in your face, challenging, and forceful when it comes to unfair treatment of others. This is where my gratitude for my racist father begins. He taught me sometimes IT IS necessary to get loud when you are fighting for what you believe in. It is necessary to be vocally forceful. Sometimes your approach is needs to be challenging and drain others I suppose.

Unfortunately, I can also have these same qualities when I feel personally betrayed in romantic relationships…ugh.

That story for another time. (hint: daddy issues)

Hearing the N-Word was Essential in my Childhood…

Hearing my Father say the N-Word constantly was absolutely necessary to my upbringing. Watching my father scream racist remarks to folks minding their own business driving by was imperative. Observing violence and constantly feeling fear in my Father’s presence was essential to my childhood. Being afraid of the person, parent, father figure, family member who looked like me was fundamental. 

My Purpose in this Life…

Why in the world would I ever say such a thing? Why would I say my Father’s violent behaviors and racist mindset were an essential part of my childhood? 

Because………

I would never have cared about any other issues outside of my own race, culture, economic status, education, and upbringing had I not experienced my racist Father’s wrath of misguided hate towards others. Along with his misguided hate towards me at times. Being front lines to daily injustice shaped who I am. Shaped my mission in this world.

I had to physically feel injustice. I had to emotionally feel injustice. I had to intellectually feel injustice. I had to encompass the enormity of all sides of to care, ask questions, reflect about the Injustices of different races, cultures, economic statuses, education and healthcare disparities. I HAD to experience, witness, feel the hate and fear of it all in order for ME to see the multiple sides of the injustice coin. 

And now……

I find solutions by seeking other’s truth, ask questions, and do my best to see it all from many perspectives.  

Check out my youtube Channel Below:

Healing Cycles of Abuse | Episode 31 | the adversity

Thank you to all my listeners, readers who are making the bold decision to heal! Healing truly is a choice. A choice you deserve.

The other side of that mountain of fear is waiting for your authentic self & your authentic happiness you are so worthy of.

-Christine Zethraus, Mental Health NP
how coronavirus saved my life episode 28 the reframe
black mental health, community, conversation, culture, mental health, Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus, Society

episode 28: the reframe (Conversation with CEO Chris Allen about his Journey of Reframing Society’s Conditioned View of Male Strength)

Summary

This episode left me speechless. It is not often I meet someone who’s childhood has similarities to mine. Much less someone who is as direct and transparent about the value of having a traumatic childhood , how reframing our conditioned perspective of our painful past is where your power lies and shows our true purpose.

My honest no-holds-barred conversation with Chris Allen, CEO & Co-Founder of Advanced Computing and Technology, Athlete, Father, Husband, former prisoner turned Advocate, about his Journey of Reframing Conditioned Views of Male Strength is a game changer. How beautiful for two people who barely know one another to instantly trust & feel safe in sharing their dysfunctional childhood resulting in seeking love in toxic relationships, multiple sex partners, and choices altering our destiny forever. 

Society tells us that men should be “strong”, the head of the family, the one that we can lean on, the one who has all the answers, the one who won’t hurt you, the one who will rescue you. Then women, such as myself, become disappointed when men do not live up to this misguided societal conditioning.

The purpose of today’s episode is to start reframing our misguided conditioned beliefs about male strength.

Thank You Chris Allen for trusting the listeners with your story. Thank you for being honest about your own mistakes you made in past relationships. Thank you Chris for being vulnerable. You are a role model in male vulnerability. 

Chris Allen is a role model in Male Vulnerability. Male Vulnerability is the VERY definition of Male Strength.

Thank You to all the listeners for giving this podcast healing wings! I am forever grateful. 

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Facebook | Youtube 

Check out The Family Burrito podcast Christine makes with her sister Jessie  — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message


Check out episode 27: the bully with Blogger Cherie White

https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/episodes/episode-27-the-bully-Conversation-with-Advocate-for-Bullied-Children–Author-and-Blogger-Cherie-White-e1hie5v

bullies, community, conversation, culture, podcast, self help, Society

episode 27: the bully (Conversation with Advocate for Bullied Children, Author and Blogger Cherie White)

Summary

This week I had a conversation with my new friend, blogger and author Cherie White, who is an Advocate for Bullied Children and Teenagers. Cherie’s personal childhood story of being bullied for 6 years after moving to a small town in Tennessee is heartbreakingly powerful. From a slow progression to constant violence. Her mission now is “Exposing Bullies and Liberating Targets to Make The World a Safer Place for All“. I learned so much about the intimation tactics of bullies. The non-verbal communication tactics of bullies blew my mind! Taking her power back has led to her mission and purpose. Just WOW!

Follow and connect with Cherie’s BLOG | https://cheriewhite.blog/

Cherie’s Books | From Victim to Victor Memoir | Townies, Cronies and Hayseeds |Kids Under the Latch Key | The Vow of Chastity Baker

Cherie’s Topics Discussed: 

Thank you to all my listeners! My little podcast I made to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world! Big hugs!

Christine’s Resources:

Please Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast: How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter| Instagram

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Blog

Email me at: Christine@Howcoronavirussavedmylife.com

The Family Burrito Podcast here

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast Episode 23: the stigma
black mental health, community, culture, experts, mental health, podcast, self help, Society, Stigma, therapist, therapy

episode 23: the stigma (Solutions to Mental Health Stigma in the Black Community: A Panel Discussion)

Summary

Mental Health experts and advocates discuss solutions to mental health stigma in the black community

Meet the Panel: 

Adris  Moffett,LCSW-S “Your Classy Therapist”

Danny  Ross, LPC-S, Author, Public Speaker, Specialized Research Therapy in African-American Families, podcast host 

Jarred Denzel, Mental Health Advocate who’s goal is to normalize mental health and end the stigma

Christine Zethraus, Mental Health Nurse Practitioner and Podcast Host

Topics Discussed: 

  • Why each panel member was drawn to mental health
  • Why normalizing mental health in the black community is important 
  • Why black men have avoidant attachment style in relationships 
  • How the black community reacts to suicide 
  • Ways to decrease judgement and shame when discussing suicide 
  • Listening without responding 
  • Creating safe space when discussing emotions 
  • Normalizing depression discussion
  • Church being a solution to reducing mental health stigma 
  • How living with your family doesn’t mean you’re a family 

This episode is sponsored by Anchor. It’s the easiest way to make a podcast

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast here 

Check out The Family Burrito Podcast Christine makes with her sister Jessie here

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of the How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast.  — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Transcription

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast
podcast, self help, Society

episode 22: the mania (Conversation with Melissa Llarena About What It’s Like Being Raised By A Mother With Severe Bipolar Disorder)

Summary

In this episode….

Melissa Llarena and I have a powerful conversation about her childhood. Quite frankly, I am still wrapping my mind around what it was like for Melissa as a little girl being raised by a Mother who has Bipolar Disorder. Melissa eloquently paints the picture of herself as a little girl who’s mother was frequently hospitalized, off her meds, manic, grandiose, and unstable. A little girl who was shuffled around, raising herself, constant chaos, and a foundation created with uncertainty and danger. I am honored Melissa Llarena trusted my listeners and myself for giving her a safe space to speak her childhood truth. 

Personal Note: 

Dear Melissa, 

I am so proud of you for the bravery of sharing your story. This IS YOUR Geraldo Rivera moment. Little Melissa is worthy of feeling safe in her/your truth. You inspire me in unimaginable ways! Thank you. I am humbled. Keeping speaking YOUR truth. You deserve it…. and so does the world. Go Cycle

Melissa Llarena’s Bio:

Melissa is a business mentor, career coach, Forbes contributor, and greatest cheerleader to fellow mompreneurs. She is the creator and host of ``An Interview with Melissa Llarena”which is a podcast for super curious humans who desire to learn from humans who courageously and creatively went after their curiosities, and made an impact, so they can too.

Melissa Llarena Resources: 

Check out Career Outcomes Matter here.

Listen and Download Melissa Llarena’s podcast -An Interview With Melissa Llarena–here.

Melissa’s Instagram here

Sign up NOW for Melissa’s Courage Makerspace Playbook here (An amazing resource!)

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Christine’s Resources:

Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast:How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Follow How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast onTwitter

Follow How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast onInstagram

Follow How Coronavirus Saved My LifeBlog

This episode sponsored by Anchor:

http://anchor.fm

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Transcription

how coronavirus saved my life episode 21: the design
conversation, podcast, self help, Society

episode 21: the design

(Conversation with Human Design Expert and Coach Marielle Honse)

Listen to my latest episode on how Human Design changed my life!

Summary

Show notes:

episode 21: the design (Conversation with Human Design Expert and Coach Marielle Honse)

Intro:

After I emerged from quarantine in April 2020 I was a different person. My brain was different, my soul was different, & the things that spoke to my heart were different. I could no longer go back to the person I was before. The person I was before was constantly frustrated, unhappy without knowing why, and living in a world of pressure and dissatisfaction.

As I journeyed through my spiritual transformation, I came across Human Design. The more I read and learned about my own Human Design, the more I was fascinated. Human Design (HD) has helped me understand my gifts & talents, how to use frustration as my superpower, why I had a traumatic childhood.

Today I brought my friend and Human Design Coach and Reader Marielle to discuss what exactly is Human Design and how this can transform your life as well.

episode 21 topics:

  • Human Design Coach Marielle gives background about herself, how she found HD, and why it resonated with her
  • Marielle explains Human Design two ways
  • Bodygraphs
  • Gates
  • Marielle explains who developed and discovered HD
  • Neutrino flow
  • Energy Types (Generators, Manifestors, MGs, Projectors, and Reflectors)
  • Profile Types

Marielle HD Coach Resources: 

Sign up for Coaching Newsletter here

Follow Marielle on Instagram for more HD topics

Follow How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast on Twitter

Follow How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/howcoronavirussavedmylife/

Follow How Coronavirus Saved My Life Blog

https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com

***Check out my other podcast I co-host with my sister Jessie— The Family Burrito****

Follow The Family Burrito Podcast on Twitter:

Follow The Family Burrito Podcast on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/thefamilyburritopodcast/

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guest of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast

This episode is sponsored by Anchor:

http://anchor.fm  — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Transcription

A picture of me and my beloved friend Anthony
conversation, Gay, HIV, podcast, self help, Society

episode 18: the survival (Conversation with my friend Anthony about his Experience as a Gay Man with HIV)

Summary

Show Notes: 

In this episode, Christine has a conversation with her best friend Anthony about his Experience as a Gay Man with HIV

Christine and Anthony discuss the following:

  • Debate the term promiscuous
  • Tell the story how they met
  • Compare and contrast their childhood
  • Anthony’s Italian Conservative family
  • Money trauma in childhood
  • Using money to avoid difficult emotions
  • Anthony’s powerful moment with his bio father
  • Anthony not knowing any gay people till 18 years old
  • Anthony knowing he was gay since 12
  • His first gay experience
  • How is family reacted when came out
  • Creating his own version of a gay man
  • Speaking our truth
  • Sep 11
  • Anthony’s HIV diagnosis & powerful moment with his dr
  • Madonna advocating for safe sex
  • His family’s reaction to his diagnosis

Resources for HIV education and facts:

https://www.hiv.gov/

Christine’s Podcast:

How Coronavirus Saved My Life on 9 podcast platforms

Follow How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast on Twitter

Follow How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/howcoronavirussavedmylife/

Follow How Coronavirus Saved My Life Blog

https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com

This episode sponsored by Anchor:

https://anchor.fm/

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast. — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Transcription

A picture of a page in my family's genealogy book showing enslaved people they owned
Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus, Society

How Embracing the Ugly Side of Your Family’s History is Healing

Why It’s Important to Yourself and the World

Part Two:

What does the word Embrace mean to you? I looked up the definition of “Embrace” after a dear friend encouraged me to Embrace my family’s ugly history of owning enslaved men, women, children, and families. How in the world do you embrace something like this? And why?

Spotlighting injustice is my life’s theme. I have always been one to fight for the underdog, vulnerable populations, sidelined groups, and the mistreated.
Perhaps this stems from being raised by parents who were cruel at times, emotional abusive, and created a foundation of uncertainty. I was the underdog. I was the mistreated. I was the vulnerable.

My ancestors were part of something horrific, something that is the complete opposite of my soul which has been a devastating discovery for me. But why? And is it really devastating? Or am I creating an unfounded belief from my childhood programming that it was my fault?

A picture of a page in my family's genealogy book showing enslaved people they owned
A page from my family’s genealogy book with enslaved people my family owned

According to Meriam-Webster Dictionary.com, Embrace as a verb means “to put one’s arms around and press tightly”, “to surround”, or “to take for one’s own use”. As I am reading the definitions of Embrace—I see the word assimilate. Just as my friend told me he’s had to do his whole life as a black man—Assimilate.

At any moment we can choose a different emotion, a different perspective, a different realization. There are many truths to many things we don’t understand. Sometimes we will never get the clarity or understanding to situations which cause us great pain.

I will never obtain the clarity and understanding from this ugly side of my family’s history. I only cause myself more pain by trying to fill in the answers over and over again. The answers will not be good enough anyway. So what do you do?

Only You create the clarity & understanding for Yourself

Now I create my own clarity and understanding by defining Embrace as surrender and acceptance.


I Embrace–surrender and accept– this ugly side of my family’s history because I am healing this “ancestorial curse” as my insightful friend calls it. I choose to embrace my family’s history because I cannot change the past. I choose to embrace my family’s history because fighting against it only hurts myself and my own healing.

I am on the Beautiful Healing side of my Family’s History.

I Embrace this.

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast
Listen to episode 4: the childhood
to find out more about my abusive racist upbringing
black history, Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus, Society

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast: episode 20

The conditioning (Society’s Conditioned View of the Black Man Experience)

Sneak Peak into my conversation with Podcaster Willie Porter from The Thing About Us Podcast

My Conversation with Willie Porter about his personal experience
A picture of an angel in the sky taken with iphone
Personal, Coronavirus, Mental Health, Healthcare, Angel, Spirituality, podcast, Society

The Day I Saw an Angel in the Sky

How the Universe gives Us Messages…

By: Christine Zethraus, PMHNP

Warrior Angel

Before getting Coronavirus back in April 2020, I had already disabled most of my social medica accounts. Working in Mental Health caused me to be super sensitive to drama. Facebook was the worst with all the political noise. After getting Coronavirus, I completely stopped watching T.V. More unnecessary noise I did not want seeping into my subconscious.

Nature became my T.V. I started paying attention to animals crossing my path, birds flying over me, and find a feather when I needed one the most. The clouds in the sky became my news source. One Friday evening I was pulling out of my neighborhood when I saw the Angel in the sky. Took my breathe away.

Around this time is when I began learning about Quantum Physics. The Universe is infinitely made up of energy. Your thoughts create your reality. The human egoic brain has difficulty “seeing” this energy magically waiting for us.

All the answer we are seeking are within. The Universe and Nature have messages for us. If only we would look up….

“Those who don’t believe in Magic will never find it”

Roald Dahl

https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife

Listen to my podcast How Coronavirus Saved My Life to hear my journey