mental health, podcast

6 Reasons Why It’s Important To Set Boundaries

Why it’s Important to Your Mental Well-Being

What is a Boundary?

A boundary is direct communication about what YOU need, what YOUR limits are, what your willing to do or not do, tells the other what you’re thinking or feeling, provides space between yourself and the other, and gives clear expectations.

We think people can read our minds. We think people should know how we are feeling or what we are thinking. We think people should know when we need help. We think people should know that thing they did was wrong. We think people should know when they hurt our feelings.

They don’t. Most of the time they are unaware. Or they feel so guilty they don’t want to face it.

Boundaries create safety for everyone involved. Boundaries are love for yourself. Boundaries are love for the other.

graphic showing importance of self love
Boundaries are Important for Self Love

Below are 6 Reasons Why it’s Important to Set Boundaries:

  1. Protects your emotional and physical energy: You can’t give to others if you haven’t given to yourself first, otherwise, it’s called judgement. Boundaries protects your precious emotional and physical energy. You then help from a place of love when you put yourself first before helping others.
  2. Avoids Future Conflicts and Resentment: Being direct with a simple statement about what you need or what your boundary is, helps the other person on the receiving end. Supports healthy communication.
  3. Allows you to define your emotional and physical space: This is a BIG one for me. I need lots of alone time. I need lots of space after working a full day in a mental health setting. I need quiet with little interruption. Everyone deserves peace. Telling others you need time alone is SUPER important to your well-being.
  4. Makes your Relationships Last Longer: Setting boundaries creates space for deeper connection. Boundaries tell your partner what you need instead of a guessing miscommunication game.
  5. Allows you to Practice Self-Respect: Most of us were not taught to set boundaries in childhood. Most of us were not taught it’s ok to say NO. Most of us were raised by broken or emotionally immature people. Boundaries tells our brain we are safe. Our brain needs this because it thinks we still need protection from childhood.
  6. Enables you to set reasonable consequences for violating your space: YOU define your own consequence. NO ONE gets a say so on the importance of your space. Not your mother. Not your father. Not your partner. Not your child. And certainly not society or your religious upbringing.
Infographic on why it's important to set boundaries
6 Reasons Why Boundaries Are Important

Reminder: Those who react the loudest to the boundary, is reinforcement the boundary was needed in the first place.


Check out my latest podcast episode where Belinda and I discuss importance of boundaries in toxic families:

Picture of Christine and Sofia
conversation

episode 32: the warrior (Teaching Yourself How to Parent with Belinda Tyner)

Picture of Christine and Sofia
Daughter Sofia and I figuring out this parent thing together

Summary

How do you teach yourself to parent when you were raised by a broken emotionally immature mother? Then throw in society’s illusion of motherhood where it is expected mothers are born nurturers who saves everyone with a unrealistic superwomen mentality. What happens to your self-esteem when your mother was none of these misguided societal illusions?  (hint: unworthiness)

In this episode I speak with Belinda Tyner, an Adult Geriatric Nurse Practitioner about her journey of becoming a warrior while teaching herself how to parent through the challenges of raising a child with ADHD. 

Topics Discussed

  • The illusions of motherhood
  • Teaching yourself how to parent 
  • Meeting your child’s needs where their at
  • Conditioning of the Superwoman Syndrome
  • Asking yourself “what do I need?”
  • Being raised by parents in survival mode
  • Importance of praising a child with ADHD during the good moments
  • Importance of ADHD diagnosis ASAP
  • Being tired of doing it all

ADHD and Parenting Resources: 

The Whole Brain Child BookLD@school National Institute of Mental Health

Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast:How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s podcast with her sisterThe Family Burrito

Big hugs to all the listeners! My little podcast to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world!

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Transcription

Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus

Sharing your Adversities = Power

People who share their story of
overcoming adversity is my jam.

Why?

Because shame no longer has power.
Fear of judgement no longer has power.
Apologizing for your truth no longer has power.
The illusions of your childhood conditioning no longer
has power.

Are you ready to step into YOUR POWER?

episode 31: the adversity

Chris Allen and Christine
black mental health, community, conversation, mental health, podcast

episode 31: the adversity (Healing Cycles of Abuse with Chris Allen)

Christine and Chris

Summary

What does the word adversity mean to you? Chris Allen is the definition of overcoming adversity. 

A powerful follow up conversation with my new friend Chris Allen. His honesty, vulnerability, transparency, and directness about his difficult childhood filled with abuse and chaos inspires me to be more vulnerable and transparent about my own story.

Chris and I tell discuss losing our virginity at a young age, Chris’s former approach to sex and intimacy before meeting his beautiful wife, and his father’s suspicious suicide. And the weird thing Chris and I have in common! Find out the ONE question Chris COULD NOT answer at the end.

Listen to our first conversation episode 28: the reframe

Topics discussed: 

  • Codependency
  • Perfectionism
  • PTSD
  • anxiety, imposter syndrome 
  • toxic friends

Chris Allen is the CEO & Co-Founder of Advanced Computing and Technology, Father, Husband, and more!

Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast:How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Youtube | FB 

Check out Christine’s podcast with her sisterThe Family Burrito

Big hugs to all the listeners! My little podcast to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world! 

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Transcription

conversation, culture, divorce, mental health, podcast, self help

episode 29: the path (My Bold Conversation with The Path Podcast Host and Speaker-Coach Arlene Bolden-Korleh)

Summary

What if your path was planned since you were a little girl? What if you had a path of getting married, having children, a successful job, and living happily ever? What if your path changed without warning instantly crushing your hopes and dreams? 

My bold conversation with Arlene Bolden-Korleh about her unexpected journey of her path to divorce is honest, thoughtful, and enlightening.

Arlene’s podcast, The Path, eloquently describes itself as our “survival guide of BOLD sisters whose hopes & dreams takes a detour – forcing disappointments – to turning obstacles into opportunities.” Arlene turning her pain and disappointment into a passion to help other women is truly inspiring.

Arlene Bolden-Korleh is the creator and podcast host of The Path. Arlene is a Certified Speaker-Coach, and Consultant for the John Maxwell Team. She is a Motivator, Confidence Builder, The One Who Believes Purpose Is Bigger than obstacles!

Arlene’s Resources: 

Listen to Arlene’s podcast The Path here on Apple Podcast. The Path Podcast here on Buzzsprout. 

Listen to Arlene interview me about my coronavirus journey, my dysfunctional childhood, and how my racist alcoholic father impacted my own  path. Arlene asked me the uncomfortable questions this time. 

Connect with Arlene on Instagram | Twitter | FB

Email Arlene at thepath4ward@gmail.com if you have a BOLD story to tell on her podcast 

Christine’s Resources:  

Thank You to all the listeners for giving this podcast healing wings! I am forever grateful.

Connect with Christine onTwitter | Instagram | Blog | Facebook | Youtube 

Check out The Family Burritopodcast Christine makes with her sister Jessie — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

https://howcoronavirussavedmylife.com/2022/03/30/episode-23-the-stigma-solutions-to-mental-health-stigma-in-the-black-community-a-panel-discussion/

how coronavirus saved my life episode 28 the reframe
black mental health, community, conversation, culture, mental health, Personal, Podcast, Racism, Mental Health, Coronavirus, Society

episode 28: the reframe (Conversation with CEO Chris Allen about his Journey of Reframing Society’s Conditioned View of Male Strength)

Summary

This episode left me speechless. It is not often I meet someone who’s childhood has similarities to mine. Much less someone who is as direct and transparent about the value of having a traumatic childhood , how reframing our conditioned perspective of our painful past is where your power lies and shows our true purpose.

My honest no-holds-barred conversation with Chris Allen, CEO & Co-Founder of Advanced Computing and Technology, Athlete, Father, Husband, former prisoner turned Advocate, about his Journey of Reframing Conditioned Views of Male Strength is a game changer. How beautiful for two people who barely know one another to instantly trust & feel safe in sharing their dysfunctional childhood resulting in seeking love in toxic relationships, multiple sex partners, and choices altering our destiny forever. 

Society tells us that men should be “strong”, the head of the family, the one that we can lean on, the one who has all the answers, the one who won’t hurt you, the one who will rescue you. Then women, such as myself, become disappointed when men do not live up to this misguided societal conditioning.

The purpose of today’s episode is to start reframing our misguided conditioned beliefs about male strength.

Thank You Chris Allen for trusting the listeners with your story. Thank you for being honest about your own mistakes you made in past relationships. Thank you Chris for being vulnerable. You are a role model in male vulnerability. 

Chris Allen is a role model in Male Vulnerability. Male Vulnerability is the VERY definition of Male Strength.

Thank You to all the listeners for giving this podcast healing wings! I am forever grateful. 

Connect with Christine on Twitter | Instagram | Blog | Facebook | Youtube 

Check out The Family Burrito podcast Christine makes with her sister Jessie  — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message


Check out episode 27: the bully with Blogger Cherie White

https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/episodes/episode-27-the-bully-Conversation-with-Advocate-for-Bullied-Children–Author-and-Blogger-Cherie-White-e1hie5v

Picture of Cherie White
bullies, mental health

Ask and You Shall Receive…

by: Christine Zethraus, PMHNP

Hello. My name is Christine. I am a recovering codependent, procrastinator, perfectionist, avoidance queen who would never ask for help in a million years. Much less reach out to a popular blogger and author to record a podcast episode about bullying . (hint: she’s a fierce advocate for bullied children and teens).

Now…why oh why, you might ask, would I have issues asking for help? Shall we start with childhood? You know what? Let’s not.

Asking for help is still a work in progress but my new jam is asking people I admire to come on my podcast. Superstars I admire, like Cherie White, who have overcame adversity and are now screaming their story from the mountaintops of Tennessee. All while knowing the real potential physical threat of telling her story is bravery at it’s finest. And this is where I swoon!

https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/episodes/episode-27-the-bully-Conversation-with-Advocate-for-Bullied-Children–Author-and-Blogger-Cherie-White-e1hie5v

Cherie White is my new hero.

“Exposing Bullies and Liberating Targets to Make The World a Safer Place for All” is Cherie’s purpose on this planet. Her soul’s calling. Her mission to humanity. How ironic she had to be the ONE severely bullied for 6 years in childhood.

Wait till you hear how she finally left that horrible school for a new school. A shiny, brighter school where she was seen for the angel she is. Astonishing how your grades dramatically go up when bullies aren’t abusing your teenage self any longer.

Thank you Cherie for being a voice for others. Thank you for making the world a better place for children and teens.

Cherie White AKA Superstar Badass
bullies, community, conversation, culture, podcast, self help, Society

episode 27: the bully (Conversation with Advocate for Bullied Children, Author and Blogger Cherie White)

Summary

This week I had a conversation with my new friend, blogger and author Cherie White, who is an Advocate for Bullied Children and Teenagers. Cherie’s personal childhood story of being bullied for 6 years after moving to a small town in Tennessee is heartbreakingly powerful. From a slow progression to constant violence. Her mission now is “Exposing Bullies and Liberating Targets to Make The World a Safer Place for All“. I learned so much about the intimation tactics of bullies. The non-verbal communication tactics of bullies blew my mind! Taking her power back has led to her mission and purpose. Just WOW!

Follow and connect with Cherie’s BLOG | https://cheriewhite.blog/

Cherie’s Books | From Victim to Victor Memoir | Townies, Cronies and Hayseeds |Kids Under the Latch Key | The Vow of Chastity Baker

Cherie’s Topics Discussed: 

Thank you to all my listeners! My little podcast I made to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world! Big hugs!

Christine’s Resources:

Please Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast: How Coronavirus Saved My Life

Connect with Christine on Twitter| Instagram

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Blog

Email me at: Christine@Howcoronavirussavedmylife.com

The Family Burrito Podcast here

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Burnout symptoms and contributing factors
mental health, nursing, podcast, self help

episode 26: the burnout

Summary

In this episode of How Coronavirus Saved My Life podcast, is my personal story of burnout as a nurse.

Burnout is real. Burnout is definitely real if you’re a healthcare worker. Then throw additional gasoline on burnout if you’re a nurse working in the pandemic. Double the gasoline if you’re a nurse working on a covid unit.

Listen to my journey of why I became a nurse, the life changing events of 2001 leading me to my calling, and the surprising person who always encouraged me to become a nurse.

Check out my Blog Post about Burnout

Topics:

  • Nurse Burnout
  • Why I choose nursing
  • The slow rollercoaster of burnout starting in nursing school
  • Baby nurses vs veteran nurses
  • Nurses eating their young
  • The ICU environment filled with stressful noises, constant fight or flight, emotional impact of telling family members their loved one died,
  • The acuity of an inpatient psychiatric unit
  • How long covid symptoms forced me to make myself a priority
  • Forgetting to put myself on the list

Mayoclinic.org Job Burnout Questions here.

Thank you to all my listeners! My little podcast I made to help the world heal is starting to reach the ears and hearts of people around the world! Big hugs!

Christine’s Resources:

Please Listen, Download, and Share Christine’s Podcast: How Coronavirus Saved My Life

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast on Twitter

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast on Instagram

How Coronavirus Saved My Life Blog

Email me at: Christine@Howcoronavirussavedmylife.com

Disclaimer: The information and recommendations in this Podcast are only opinions of the host and guests of How Coronavirus Saved My Life Podcast — This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app — Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/howcoronavirussavedmylife/message

Transcription

Nursing Burnout Cycle
mental health, mental health, nursing, podcast, self help

9 Common Burnout Symptoms of a Healthcare Worker

My Nursing Journey of Burnout in Healthcare

April 18, 2022 by Christine Zethraus, PMHNP-BC

How Working in Healthcare has Impacted my Emotional and Physical Well-being

My Burnout Beginning

Burnout is REAL. Burnout is definitely real if you’re a healthcare worker. Then throw additional gasoline on burnout if you’re a nurse working in the pandemic. Double it if you’re a nurse working the ICU.

Before I became a Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, I worked as an ICU nurse for 5 years in a Level I Trauma Center. What does a “Level I Trauma Center” mean? Level I Trauma Center means my patients had a variety of life-threatening critical injuries such as gunshot wounds, car wrecks, plane crashes, strokes, sepsis, etc. Think constant extreme stress (fight or flight).

I purposely choose to work in the ICU because I knew this intense training and experience would be beneficial for my planned advanced nursing school. Quite frankly I had no clue what I was getting myself into. Looking back, I’m actually grateful I was naïve about my new adventure because this was the beginning of my nurse burnout story. The beginning of my nursing burnout signs affecting my emotional and physical well-being.

Hint: I didn’t listen or see the burnout signs.

Burnout Symptoms
Burnout Symptoms

Pandemic Burnout

Fast forward 12 years later where I am now a Mental Health Nurse Practitioner working during the Covid-19 Pandemic dealing with a different kind of trauma. An emotional one. And I’m not just talking about my patients. My own personal emotional trauma of FEAR. Fear of getting covid, fear we are all going to die, fear I would need heart surgery because of my long covid symptoms, fear there would be no food on the shelves, fear my lung damage due to long-covid, fear my family would die, and fear the world was ending.

Fear was the dominate emotion during the pandemic

I made the assumption my healthcare professional burnout was because of working during the pandemic. Nope. My burnout started long before working in mental health during the pandemic. My burnout started in nursing school when I put everyone and everything else before my own well-being. My burnout started when I was not myself a priority.

I first noticed my burnout symptoms when I had Coronavirus then Long-Covid Symptoms in 2020. Having Long-Covid forced me to slow down, forced me to re-evaluate what’s important, forced me to make myself priority. I had no other choice because I was on a path to chronic illness, auto-immune disease and most likely early death.


Occupational Burnout
Occupational Burnout in Nursing
Continue reading “9 Common Burnout Symptoms of a Healthcare Worker”